Quiet and Not Quite Qualified

So I had to take the twins to the doctor yesterday for their four month check-up. Bailey is still under 11 lbs!!! The doctor isn't concerned because she put on almost three pounds since two months but I still worry, even after he showed me the growth chart and that she is following 'a line' (even if it is the bottom line on the chart). Coop is doing fine though, other than his oozing eyeball.

From birth they have been telling me that Bailey would need X-rays of her hips at four months because she was breech (albeit for less than two hours), she is a girl and she was born via c-section. So they scheduled the appointment for this morning. Little girl was up half the night not feeling well thanks to the immunizations and then we had to be there this morning at 9 for her X-Rays.

Standing behind a lead window while the lady doing the X-ray is wearing a body suit and your daughter is completely exposed was NERVE WRECKING! She didn't seem to mind. I am sure it was far more stressful and worrisome for me than it was for her. That is probably going to be par for the course for some time. I am a worrier. My pediatrician thinks I am and I don't want to let him down. I asked when the results would be in (I mean, if we are going to submit our daughter to X-rays we want to know ASAP the results). She said they would send them over to the doctor this afternoon. If he doesn't call me by this afternoon I am calling there first thing in the morning. I mean I am not overly worried because she wasn't breech the entire time but my doctor has reminded me about this over and over for four months and I would like it to be over.

So then I go by the mall. I have a coupon for Macy's and it is the first Tuesday of the month (Gap 10% off day). So I am minding my own business and this lady comes up to me, and of course I am expecting her to gawk at the little ones but no, instead she needs my help choosing clothes for a baby shower. What sizes, what is good quality, how big are babies? I am a quiet person, a little shy if I don't know you. And I do not feel qualified at all to answer these questions. I mean I have only had children for four months, that doesn't make me any sort of expert. I only know what I like, I don't know what is better quality, how big or smal other babies are, and besides I just don't feel confident giving advice (unless you are related to me or read my blog). I tried, I mean really tried to overcome my shyness and be as helpful as possible but when she asked me to lunch I figured I needed to get out of there as I am always prepared for someone to overpower me and kidnap my children when I am out shopping alone (maybe I should learn Tae Kwon Do). So I bugged out of there, and FAST!

So I went into the Gap, just very quickly because you know it's the first Tuesday of the month and all. And the lady who works there (and maybe feels sorry for me or likes me or something) has .97 cent hats she is holding for me. Folks, I don't shop at the Gap that often. I wonder how long she has been holding onto these hats for me (and maybe they had just marked them down and she was just saying that). So I try to be nice but the hats were not the right size (our children's weight may be in the 10th percentile but both of their heads are in the 75th). So I head to the clearance rack, because that is my target destination whenever I shop at the Gap and the lady keeps coming asking questions about the twins and some other shoppers were asking question and I was cursing myself and my introverted ways.

I mean how can I come here and say anything and everything and way too much and yet I am always feeling like my personal space is being invaded when I go out in public?

I did get some more nifty thermal long sleeve t's from the men's section for a couple of bucks. I bought a burnt sienna one for $3 back in February and it is now my favorite shirt. I wish I could shop in the men's department all the time. I look in the women's sections at department stores but the clothes are cut funny or too low or too tight and I just leave feeling frustrated and empty handed.

So I was leaving the mall and going out of a door that doesn't have automatic doors and there is this guy standing right behind me, still invading my personal space and yet not holding the door for me and my Duo Glider. I made it to the car and loaded the Canyoneer and left feeling slightly misanthropic.

-june