Last night I was up pondering the dynamics of a normal mother/daughter-in-law situation until well after 1 a.m. I went to bed only to toss and turn and finally, I think around 2 a.m. I managed a little ZZZs. Unfortunately, at 4:45 I woke up and couldn't get back to bed, at 5 I made an immediate date with a novel and took a long soak in the tub. I wasn't able to go back to bed until after six and was up less than two hours later for good with the kids.
When I was pregnant I couldn't sleep. There were a few days when I didn't sleep at all, I would pace the house and watch hours of 80s videos on Vh1 Classics or soak my self to raisin skin in the tub, ah those were the days. I also had carpel tunnel syndrome, water retention, heartburn, indigestion, hiccups, gas, stretch marks, back ache, headaches, and bleeding gums, but all of those ailments are gone now (OK, with the exception of those stretch marks that I know will never go away despite what my friend Amy tells me) so why does the insomnia persist?
Maybe this is a new breed of insomnia. Maybe I am worrying too much about the things I cannot change. Maybe I need to recite that Serenity Prayer a few times and take a few Tylenol PM's.
Oh, and ban CNN in my house until AIG stops asking the Feds for money.
-june
Showing posts with label What annoys me.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label What annoys me.... Show all posts
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
I Am Officially Out of Touch
Once upon a time I was so cool and hip, for example I once not only owned but frequently used a hair crimper. But recently I have really felt like I am falling behind in the newest fashion and trends and last week I had two nightmares in which I went to JC Penny's and bought mom jeans and bragged about the 9 inch zipper to all of my childless friends. But is was this morning, while enjoying my new routine morning cup of joe and reading Entertainment Weekly (OK, skimming) for the first time in what seems like months that I realized that the music world really has it in for my hip status.
First, of the Billboard Top 20, I have only heard one song (Coldplay's Viva la Vida) and haven't even heard of half of the artists on the lists (Flo Rida? Leona Lewis? T.I.?). But this was the real stinker, in the Fall Preview section there is mention of one of my favorite artists upcoming new release;
"Forgoing CDs altogether, the Portland, Ore., band wil instead release three multitrack downloads..."
WHAT? I thought we were friends Decemberists? Did you perhaps overhear my conversation at Bunco last week that I don't even have a digital library or even want one? I have never even purchased a single song from iTunes, I only own an iPod Shuffle, and one of the archaic cumbersome white ones not those cool colorful petit ones.
So all morning I have been thinking, are CDs really dying off? Are Digital Libraries the norm now? Am I one of a dying group who wants the tangibility of CDs and cover sleeves? I am a collector, a fan of clutter, who will I become without my CD cases and educational liner notes.
The next thing you people are going to tell me is I need a Blu-Ray player.
-june
First, of the Billboard Top 20, I have only heard one song (Coldplay's Viva la Vida) and haven't even heard of half of the artists on the lists (Flo Rida? Leona Lewis? T.I.?). But this was the real stinker, in the Fall Preview section there is mention of one of my favorite artists upcoming new release;
"Forgoing CDs altogether, the Portland, Ore., band wil instead release three multitrack downloads..."
WHAT? I thought we were friends Decemberists? Did you perhaps overhear my conversation at Bunco last week that I don't even have a digital library or even want one? I have never even purchased a single song from iTunes, I only own an iPod Shuffle, and one of the archaic cumbersome white ones not those cool colorful petit ones.
So all morning I have been thinking, are CDs really dying off? Are Digital Libraries the norm now? Am I one of a dying group who wants the tangibility of CDs and cover sleeves? I am a collector, a fan of clutter, who will I become without my CD cases and educational liner notes.
The next thing you people are going to tell me is I need a Blu-Ray player.
-june
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Uncovered Truth
I have grown up thinking I was unattractive and homely, not because anyone called me names or because I was forced to wear clearance items from Roses but because the person I saw in the mirror was someone who let me down. My mothers disappearance before my adolescent years didn't help, but my lack of beauty skills isn't really her fault it's just another thing I can blame on her because the list isn't long enough. But one thing about myself that has always bothered me, more than anyone could know, is my acne.
When I was in sixth grade I started to 'break out' and I thought that this was just one of those growing pains that everyone had to live with. Well, not everyone does and mine quickly seemed to worsen. By ninth grade I was ashamed to have my picture taken and it really started to affect my self esteem, not that I really had any to begin with. All the pictures I have from high school my face is covered with acne. I used to look at pictures of my girlfriends in pictures with me and wish that my face would clear up, even just a little.
Make-up, when applied, just made it worse and it made it look as though I was trying to hide the blemishes and doing a really bad job. Cleansers were often to rough leaving my face looking like a battlefield. I got use to the idea that I couldn't escape the acne and hoped that as I reached 18 my face would clear up.
It didn't.
It only got worse as more blemishes appeared and the old blemishes remained in the forms of red blotches and scars. When I was in college I tried a few stronger products, such as ProActiv, Clinique facial cleaning system and other products and approaches suggested by friends, nothing seemed to work.
The acne was bothersome in more ways than one and it often left me feeling self conscience and insecure but there was little I could do about it but go about my life. Several times however, over the course of the past few years I have endured some pretty painful comments over the condition. I remember when I was 15 my grandfather asked me what was wrong with my face. Another time I had a father of a child at a daycare I was working at ask me if I had ever tried anything on my acne because his wife did Mary Kay or Avon or something. I was shocked and embarrassed for both of us.
When I was pregnant my face only got worse. Having endured acne for as long as I had it no longer really bothered me, even though I still don't like to have my picture taken because of it. When I was seven months pregnant a close friend of mine begged me to come to her Mary Kay party. I told her that I really hated those things but she begged so much I finally agreed.
The 'party' was with a bunch of beautiful girls who in my opinion don't need Mary Kay's help to begin with and I instantly became the Mary Kay representative's charity case. She kept offering me samples and asking me if I had ever used any acne products and what I normally did to clean my face. It was almost a year ago and I have blocked most of the occasion from my mind but I remember two things clearly. First, I am not sure if I have ever felt more embarrassed and insulted and secondly, I left before the party was over because I was hurt and couldn't stand the way I was being treated.
Since the twins birth however something changed. My cycle is still absent but my face is a little clearer. I don't have anywhere near as many breakouts as before. I still have occasional breakouts and my face is still red from years of acne but when I wear make-up it evens the color and it doesn't look as though I am trying to hide anything. Several people have commented that my skin looks clearer but I find that I am still very self conscience about the matter and I don't like having my picture taken except with the children and as ridiculous as this sounds, I don't even like to look in the mirror because I hate the way I look.
Today, our Mary Kay representative called to speak with me. I was shocked she had my number and thought instantly that the recession must be hitting her business hard because I had no idea why she would be calling me. I told her I was busy with my children and she offered to call back later. I didn't want to be rude but I found her to be rude both today and at the party a year ago and didn't feel like there was any reason for her to call back, but being weak and afraid to hurt her feelings I told her that was fine. I don't know what it would be like to have clear skin but if I had it I wouldn't be hiding behind a bunch of expensive overly marked up make up.
When she called back a few hours later and I answered I wasn't as friendly. She asked if I was busy and I was busy with my sister and nephew here baking cookies. She told me that when we met last year at the girl's house (whose name she couldn't remember for either conversation) I was interested in their products and she would really like to come by and work with me one on one. I don't know where she got my number or the idea that I was interested in Mary Kay but I am not. Her tone coupled with a memory of that fine party a year ago made me tell her that I wasn't interested. Not even in our acne products, she said.
NO, not even in your acne products, I said and I hung up.
Some of us are flawed and we are aware of it. We don't need it brought up as though we may be ignorant to our physical shortcomings. I want to be a bigger, better person and say that her call didn't leave me in a funk but it did. I can live with being imperfect and far from beautiful, why can't other people. Why are we so hung up on outward appearances? If I wear sweats and no make up and hair that is boring and straight why does it seem to offend other people. Do these people realize (NO) that their words are hurtful and degrading?
Apparently not.
-june
When I was in sixth grade I started to 'break out' and I thought that this was just one of those growing pains that everyone had to live with. Well, not everyone does and mine quickly seemed to worsen. By ninth grade I was ashamed to have my picture taken and it really started to affect my self esteem, not that I really had any to begin with. All the pictures I have from high school my face is covered with acne. I used to look at pictures of my girlfriends in pictures with me and wish that my face would clear up, even just a little.
Make-up, when applied, just made it worse and it made it look as though I was trying to hide the blemishes and doing a really bad job. Cleansers were often to rough leaving my face looking like a battlefield. I got use to the idea that I couldn't escape the acne and hoped that as I reached 18 my face would clear up.
It didn't.
It only got worse as more blemishes appeared and the old blemishes remained in the forms of red blotches and scars. When I was in college I tried a few stronger products, such as ProActiv, Clinique facial cleaning system and other products and approaches suggested by friends, nothing seemed to work.
The acne was bothersome in more ways than one and it often left me feeling self conscience and insecure but there was little I could do about it but go about my life. Several times however, over the course of the past few years I have endured some pretty painful comments over the condition. I remember when I was 15 my grandfather asked me what was wrong with my face. Another time I had a father of a child at a daycare I was working at ask me if I had ever tried anything on my acne because his wife did Mary Kay or Avon or something. I was shocked and embarrassed for both of us.
When I was pregnant my face only got worse. Having endured acne for as long as I had it no longer really bothered me, even though I still don't like to have my picture taken because of it. When I was seven months pregnant a close friend of mine begged me to come to her Mary Kay party. I told her that I really hated those things but she begged so much I finally agreed.
The 'party' was with a bunch of beautiful girls who in my opinion don't need Mary Kay's help to begin with and I instantly became the Mary Kay representative's charity case. She kept offering me samples and asking me if I had ever used any acne products and what I normally did to clean my face. It was almost a year ago and I have blocked most of the occasion from my mind but I remember two things clearly. First, I am not sure if I have ever felt more embarrassed and insulted and secondly, I left before the party was over because I was hurt and couldn't stand the way I was being treated.
Since the twins birth however something changed. My cycle is still absent but my face is a little clearer. I don't have anywhere near as many breakouts as before. I still have occasional breakouts and my face is still red from years of acne but when I wear make-up it evens the color and it doesn't look as though I am trying to hide anything. Several people have commented that my skin looks clearer but I find that I am still very self conscience about the matter and I don't like having my picture taken except with the children and as ridiculous as this sounds, I don't even like to look in the mirror because I hate the way I look.
Today, our Mary Kay representative called to speak with me. I was shocked she had my number and thought instantly that the recession must be hitting her business hard because I had no idea why she would be calling me. I told her I was busy with my children and she offered to call back later. I didn't want to be rude but I found her to be rude both today and at the party a year ago and didn't feel like there was any reason for her to call back, but being weak and afraid to hurt her feelings I told her that was fine. I don't know what it would be like to have clear skin but if I had it I wouldn't be hiding behind a bunch of expensive overly marked up make up.
When she called back a few hours later and I answered I wasn't as friendly. She asked if I was busy and I was busy with my sister and nephew here baking cookies. She told me that when we met last year at the girl's house (whose name she couldn't remember for either conversation) I was interested in their products and she would really like to come by and work with me one on one. I don't know where she got my number or the idea that I was interested in Mary Kay but I am not. Her tone coupled with a memory of that fine party a year ago made me tell her that I wasn't interested. Not even in our acne products, she said.
NO, not even in your acne products, I said and I hung up.
Some of us are flawed and we are aware of it. We don't need it brought up as though we may be ignorant to our physical shortcomings. I want to be a bigger, better person and say that her call didn't leave me in a funk but it did. I can live with being imperfect and far from beautiful, why can't other people. Why are we so hung up on outward appearances? If I wear sweats and no make up and hair that is boring and straight why does it seem to offend other people. Do these people realize (NO) that their words are hurtful and degrading?
Apparently not.
-june
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Incredible June
Since the twins were born I have perfected the two carrier hold with the twins Graco Carrier/Car Seats. Often I have to take the twins somewhere alone where a stroller is inconvenient or just not an option. Romp 'N Roll for instance. When people see me coming with a carrier in each arm their first response is to open the door for me tell me that my hands are full followed by commenting that I must be very strong to carry around such heavy looking babies. I hadn't thought that I had gotten any stronger since the twins were born and I hate the "hands full" comment so I usually just smile as I struggle to open the door with my arms full.
But this weekend a few things happened that made me think that maybe I am stronger than I give myself credit for. On Saturday morning I was putting on a not-so-cheap Bra from a major mall retailer and as I was pulling a strap onto my shoulder I ripped the strap rendering the bra useless. My first thought was that they have cheapened out on their bras which I once thought were a women's breast friend, but then...
We went to a pool party. I had made some mighty tasty Fruit Salsa and Cinnamon Tortilla Chips. After saying hello to everyone at the pool I took the extra Tupperware container of Salsa to store in my friend's fridge. When I reached for the handle of her screen door and pushed the lever in the entire contraption fell apart in my hands and all over my friends deck. Not only did I feel terrible but I started to wonder the power of my carrier toting arms. My friend told me not to worry, the door was old but I still feel terrible about it.
Then on Sunday we went to Roanoke to see my would-be-but won't-now-ever-be-Stepfather. Ward brought along a cup of Cherry Coke in a Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop cup. As soon as we left I was worried that the coke would splash in the Sequoia and make a sticky mess because it was propped on it's side on some Starburst wrappers (I never said I had the cleanest car). So what did I do, let my worry build until The Incredible June was released picking up the coke and dumping not a splash but the entire 16oz all over the console of my vehicle. How did it happen? All I can say is it was the outcome of my sheer strength for which I don't even know the full potential of yet.
This morning a lady told me that I sure had my hands full while I was trying to get into Old Navy. I asked her if she wanted to see my big guns. She looked at me strange and hurried off. I think she misunderstood me but at least she moved out of my way.
I am beginning to think that maybe it wasn't cheap fabric in my bra, rusty door handle or crappy cups that weren't ever meant to serve as dining wear that caused these incidents but rather my super hero mother status.
But this weekend a few things happened that made me think that maybe I am stronger than I give myself credit for. On Saturday morning I was putting on a not-so-cheap Bra from a major mall retailer and as I was pulling a strap onto my shoulder I ripped the strap rendering the bra useless. My first thought was that they have cheapened out on their bras which I once thought were a women's breast friend, but then...
We went to a pool party. I had made some mighty tasty Fruit Salsa and Cinnamon Tortilla Chips. After saying hello to everyone at the pool I took the extra Tupperware container of Salsa to store in my friend's fridge. When I reached for the handle of her screen door and pushed the lever in the entire contraption fell apart in my hands and all over my friends deck. Not only did I feel terrible but I started to wonder the power of my carrier toting arms. My friend told me not to worry, the door was old but I still feel terrible about it.
Then on Sunday we went to Roanoke to see my would-be-but won't-now-ever-be-Stepfather. Ward brought along a cup of Cherry Coke in a Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop cup. As soon as we left I was worried that the coke would splash in the Sequoia and make a sticky mess because it was propped on it's side on some Starburst wrappers (I never said I had the cleanest car). So what did I do, let my worry build until The Incredible June was released picking up the coke and dumping not a splash but the entire 16oz all over the console of my vehicle. How did it happen? All I can say is it was the outcome of my sheer strength for which I don't even know the full potential of yet.
This morning a lady told me that I sure had my hands full while I was trying to get into Old Navy. I asked her if she wanted to see my big guns. She looked at me strange and hurried off. I think she misunderstood me but at least she moved out of my way.
I am beginning to think that maybe it wasn't cheap fabric in my bra, rusty door handle or crappy cups that weren't ever meant to serve as dining wear that caused these incidents but rather my super hero mother status.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Well This Sucks
http://www.wset.com/news/stories/0608/531139.html
We have lost power three times in the past ten days and twice thus far tonight.
I enjoy lights. I do not enjoy losing electricity.
-june
We have lost power three times in the past ten days and twice thus far tonight.
I enjoy lights. I do not enjoy losing electricity.
-june
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Why Sharing is Bad
Several years ago for Christmas we received a Whirley Pop popcorn popper. At first I thought it was a little oddball gift that would never get used, but we purchased several yummy glazes that made the popcorn rather scrumptous. Whenever we have people over for games or brothers in from Arizona, we make the yummy popcorn, the Strawberry being a big hit with my sister-in-law as well as myself. This past week we used the last of the Strawberry (which supposedly made 48 quarts of popcorn before it was empty {if used accordingly}) while our family was in town thinking I could just replace the Strawberry glaze at Target at my earliest convenience, or my brother or sisters earliest convenience. After three trips to Target made by each of my parents children (thank you Erin and Ricky), one trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond and a lengthy search on the ole internet I am faced with these realities:
Back to Basics no longer makes Strawberry Glaze for popcorn, only Caramel (OK) and Kettle Corn (YUCK!!).
I shouldn't have made this scrumptous popcorn again for my family, even though they enjoyed it last time they were here.
I emailed the company telling them how bad a mistake they have made as I won't be buying popcorn glaze from them once every millenium (Of this I know WILL be their economic downfall I am sure) and gave them my email address in case they come across any cartons in their warehouse.
I LOVED this popcorn. I wonder if I can make my own strawberry glaze or if I can locate any on the ole e-Bay (who I despise thanks to PayPal).
-june
**UPDATE**
I got a not so friendly email from Back To Basics that said rather shortly that they have discontinued the Strawberry Glaze. Perhaps they read my blog and were offended?
Back to Basics no longer makes Strawberry Glaze for popcorn, only Caramel (OK) and Kettle Corn (YUCK!!).
I shouldn't have made this scrumptous popcorn again for my family, even though they enjoyed it last time they were here.
I emailed the company telling them how bad a mistake they have made as I won't be buying popcorn glaze from them once every millenium (Of this I know WILL be their economic downfall I am sure) and gave them my email address in case they come across any cartons in their warehouse.
I LOVED this popcorn. I wonder if I can make my own strawberry glaze or if I can locate any on the ole e-Bay (who I despise thanks to PayPal).
-june
**UPDATE**
I got a not so friendly email from Back To Basics that said rather shortly that they have discontinued the Strawberry Glaze. Perhaps they read my blog and were offended?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Did Trolls Do This?
When Ward and I were first married we lived in a townhouse in the city. The backyard was the cities largest park. We walked there, we drank illegally there, we almost got arrested there, we played paintball there. When I got my Nikon N60, it was there that I took my first photos with it (of this very bridge). When we moved into our first house and got Max and Jake we took them walking there. My sister and I used to go bike riding there. It holds a lot of memories for me. Some positive, some not so.
But two years ago we moved into the county and we are a good trek from that old park. We would occasionally go there to play tennis (not very well) or to play Frisbee Golf (no not really, though it is a very popular sport there). When we had Cooper and Bailey I was excited about taking them to the park for walks, to play chase, to play ball, to climb on the new rock wall. So we have gone to the park a few times since their birth.
On our first trip I noticed something really sad.
This beautiful bridge in the cities 'nicest' park,
But two years ago we moved into the county and we are a good trek from that old park. We would occasionally go there to play tennis (not very well) or to play Frisbee Golf (no not really, though it is a very popular sport there). When we had Cooper and Bailey I was excited about taking them to the park for walks, to play chase, to play ball, to climb on the new rock wall. So we have gone to the park a few times since their birth.
On our first trip I noticed something really sad.
This beautiful bridge in the cities 'nicest' park,
is rotting away.
I mean you can feel how rotten it is when you walk across it and you can even see through the wood floor joists. That to me, doesn't seem like a good thing.
I can just imagine someone making a false move and the bridge collapsing. That does occasionally happen you know.
I am saddened by the fact that our cities finest park is deteriorating and no one seems to care. Not the Frisbee Golf players, not the other parents, not the cities Parks and Recreation division, not the Tennis players. I wonder what will be the state of this park when our kids are finally old enough to use the rock climbing wall and did trolls do this?
-june
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Her Name Is BAILEY
NOT:
Bayley
Baily
Bayly
Bailie
Baileah
Bailly
Baylie
Baileigh
Baeli
And her results were Normal!
-june
Bayley
Baily
Bayly
Bailie
Baileah
Bailly
Baylie
Baileigh
Baeli
And her results were Normal!
-june
Maybe Hillary Wasn't Very Good At Math
This morning I read this.
Go ahead and read it too. Go ahead, I'll wait for you to come back.
I can understand why Clinton would want to keep fighting for the democratic nomination, I mean she has 'lent' herself quite a bit of money in her ernest attempt to secure her parties nomination and Barack has yet to offer her the Vice Presidency but when is enough going to be enough. Why can't she realize that she is trailing behind, more and more each primary and ultimately she is helping divide, not unite, her party by continuing to campaign. I could say the same about Obama but I like him and he is at least winning in the number of (not so super?) delegates so why should he be the one to back down.
I have heard others say (and think myself) that Obama is the more electable candidate and that if Clinton pinches the democratic nomination in some way there may be a good deal of people who vote for another candidate just as to not vote for her. The republicans seem to know it, they seem to think that Clinton is the way to go to sinch McCain's presidential nomination. I have heard lots of comments, ridiculous comments about Clinton being the first woman president and that being important. Supposedly a great deal of white women are behind her just to see a woman president. The same goes for African American support of Obama. Sometimes I wonder why they let citizens vote, I mean, you have a responsibility to vote for the person you think is going to do a good job or at least the candidate whom addresses the issues in the campaign period that you like them to, not the person whom resembles you the most.
At this point I think that Hillary Clinton is just being selfish and her unwillingness to drop out is becoming detrimental to the democratic party. I agree with McGovern that mathematically Obama has all but won and it IS time to unite and get ready for the election in the fall. McGovern's decision to back Obama despite his long relationship with the Clinton's would say to me if I was Hillary Clinton, you ran a good race, now gracefully back out while Obama still has a chance.
-june
Go ahead and read it too. Go ahead, I'll wait for you to come back.
I can understand why Clinton would want to keep fighting for the democratic nomination, I mean she has 'lent' herself quite a bit of money in her ernest attempt to secure her parties nomination and Barack has yet to offer her the Vice Presidency but when is enough going to be enough. Why can't she realize that she is trailing behind, more and more each primary and ultimately she is helping divide, not unite, her party by continuing to campaign. I could say the same about Obama but I like him and he is at least winning in the number of (not so super?) delegates so why should he be the one to back down.
I have heard others say (and think myself) that Obama is the more electable candidate and that if Clinton pinches the democratic nomination in some way there may be a good deal of people who vote for another candidate just as to not vote for her. The republicans seem to know it, they seem to think that Clinton is the way to go to sinch McCain's presidential nomination. I have heard lots of comments, ridiculous comments about Clinton being the first woman president and that being important. Supposedly a great deal of white women are behind her just to see a woman president. The same goes for African American support of Obama. Sometimes I wonder why they let citizens vote, I mean, you have a responsibility to vote for the person you think is going to do a good job or at least the candidate whom addresses the issues in the campaign period that you like them to, not the person whom resembles you the most.
At this point I think that Hillary Clinton is just being selfish and her unwillingness to drop out is becoming detrimental to the democratic party. I agree with McGovern that mathematically Obama has all but won and it IS time to unite and get ready for the election in the fall. McGovern's decision to back Obama despite his long relationship with the Clinton's would say to me if I was Hillary Clinton, you ran a good race, now gracefully back out while Obama still has a chance.
-june
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Quiet and Not Quite Qualified
So I had to take the twins to the doctor yesterday for their four month check-up. Bailey is still under 11 lbs!!! The doctor isn't concerned because she put on almost three pounds since two months but I still worry, even after he showed me the growth chart and that she is following 'a line' (even if it is the bottom line on the chart). Coop is doing fine though, other than his oozing eyeball.
From birth they have been telling me that Bailey would need X-rays of her hips at four months because she was breech (albeit for less than two hours), she is a girl and she was born via c-section. So they scheduled the appointment for this morning. Little girl was up half the night not feeling well thanks to the immunizations and then we had to be there this morning at 9 for her X-Rays.
Standing behind a lead window while the lady doing the X-ray is wearing a body suit and your daughter is completely exposed was NERVE WRECKING! She didn't seem to mind. I am sure it was far more stressful and worrisome for me than it was for her. That is probably going to be par for the course for some time. I am a worrier. My pediatrician thinks I am and I don't want to let him down. I asked when the results would be in (I mean, if we are going to submit our daughter to X-rays we want to know ASAP the results). She said they would send them over to the doctor this afternoon. If he doesn't call me by this afternoon I am calling there first thing in the morning. I mean I am not overly worried because she wasn't breech the entire time but my doctor has reminded me about this over and over for four months and I would like it to be over.
So then I go by the mall. I have a coupon for Macy's and it is the first Tuesday of the month (Gap 10% off day). So I am minding my own business and this lady comes up to me, and of course I am expecting her to gawk at the little ones but no, instead she needs my help choosing clothes for a baby shower. What sizes, what is good quality, how big are babies? I am a quiet person, a little shy if I don't know you. And I do not feel qualified at all to answer these questions. I mean I have only had children for four months, that doesn't make me any sort of expert. I only know what I like, I don't know what is better quality, how big or smal other babies are, and besides I just don't feel confident giving advice (unless you are related to me or read my blog). I tried, I mean really tried to overcome my shyness and be as helpful as possible but when she asked me to lunch I figured I needed to get out of there as I am always prepared for someone to overpower me and kidnap my children when I am out shopping alone (maybe I should learn Tae Kwon Do). So I bugged out of there, and FAST!
So I went into the Gap, just very quickly because you know it's the first Tuesday of the month and all. And the lady who works there (and maybe feels sorry for me or likes me or something) has .97 cent hats she is holding for me. Folks, I don't shop at the Gap that often. I wonder how long she has been holding onto these hats for me (and maybe they had just marked them down and she was just saying that). So I try to be nice but the hats were not the right size (our children's weight may be in the 10th percentile but both of their heads are in the 75th). So I head to the clearance rack, because that is my target destination whenever I shop at the Gap and the lady keeps coming asking questions about the twins and some other shoppers were asking question and I was cursing myself and my introverted ways.
I mean how can I come here and say anything and everything and way too much and yet I am always feeling like my personal space is being invaded when I go out in public?
I did get some more nifty thermal long sleeve t's from the men's section for a couple of bucks. I bought a burnt sienna one for $3 back in February and it is now my favorite shirt. I wish I could shop in the men's department all the time. I look in the women's sections at department stores but the clothes are cut funny or too low or too tight and I just leave feeling frustrated and empty handed.
So I was leaving the mall and going out of a door that doesn't have automatic doors and there is this guy standing right behind me, still invading my personal space and yet not holding the door for me and my Duo Glider. I made it to the car and loaded the Canyoneer and left feeling slightly misanthropic.
-june
From birth they have been telling me that Bailey would need X-rays of her hips at four months because she was breech (albeit for less than two hours), she is a girl and she was born via c-section. So they scheduled the appointment for this morning. Little girl was up half the night not feeling well thanks to the immunizations and then we had to be there this morning at 9 for her X-Rays.
Standing behind a lead window while the lady doing the X-ray is wearing a body suit and your daughter is completely exposed was NERVE WRECKING! She didn't seem to mind. I am sure it was far more stressful and worrisome for me than it was for her. That is probably going to be par for the course for some time. I am a worrier. My pediatrician thinks I am and I don't want to let him down. I asked when the results would be in (I mean, if we are going to submit our daughter to X-rays we want to know ASAP the results). She said they would send them over to the doctor this afternoon. If he doesn't call me by this afternoon I am calling there first thing in the morning. I mean I am not overly worried because she wasn't breech the entire time but my doctor has reminded me about this over and over for four months and I would like it to be over.
So then I go by the mall. I have a coupon for Macy's and it is the first Tuesday of the month (Gap 10% off day). So I am minding my own business and this lady comes up to me, and of course I am expecting her to gawk at the little ones but no, instead she needs my help choosing clothes for a baby shower. What sizes, what is good quality, how big are babies? I am a quiet person, a little shy if I don't know you. And I do not feel qualified at all to answer these questions. I mean I have only had children for four months, that doesn't make me any sort of expert. I only know what I like, I don't know what is better quality, how big or smal other babies are, and besides I just don't feel confident giving advice (unless you are related to me or read my blog). I tried, I mean really tried to overcome my shyness and be as helpful as possible but when she asked me to lunch I figured I needed to get out of there as I am always prepared for someone to overpower me and kidnap my children when I am out shopping alone (maybe I should learn Tae Kwon Do). So I bugged out of there, and FAST!
So I went into the Gap, just very quickly because you know it's the first Tuesday of the month and all. And the lady who works there (and maybe feels sorry for me or likes me or something) has .97 cent hats she is holding for me. Folks, I don't shop at the Gap that often. I wonder how long she has been holding onto these hats for me (and maybe they had just marked them down and she was just saying that). So I try to be nice but the hats were not the right size (our children's weight may be in the 10th percentile but both of their heads are in the 75th). So I head to the clearance rack, because that is my target destination whenever I shop at the Gap and the lady keeps coming asking questions about the twins and some other shoppers were asking question and I was cursing myself and my introverted ways.
I mean how can I come here and say anything and everything and way too much and yet I am always feeling like my personal space is being invaded when I go out in public?
I did get some more nifty thermal long sleeve t's from the men's section for a couple of bucks. I bought a burnt sienna one for $3 back in February and it is now my favorite shirt. I wish I could shop in the men's department all the time. I look in the women's sections at department stores but the clothes are cut funny or too low or too tight and I just leave feeling frustrated and empty handed.
So I was leaving the mall and going out of a door that doesn't have automatic doors and there is this guy standing right behind me, still invading my personal space and yet not holding the door for me and my Duo Glider. I made it to the car and loaded the Canyoneer and left feeling slightly misanthropic.
-june
Sunday, April 6, 2008
So We Went Out Shopping With The Twins Again...
or,
An Epic Tale of Shopping and Heroism
Starring Us
First stop. 7-11.
We stopped in for fuel (for us not the car), a coffee for me and a coke, cherry for the missus. She stayed in the car with the kids and I went in to get everything. Inside I encountered Crazy Person #1 for the day. Nothing too bad, just some lady talking to herself at the coffee station. I thought that she was talking to the man next to her, but he walked away leaving just her and me and she kept on going as if nothing had changed. When I ended up in line behind her, with my coffee, cherry coke and two donuts, I noticed that she had stopped talking and started singing. The cashier seemed irritated as she rang up the lady's coffee and two packs of menthol cigarettes, but not shocked. I should have taken this as an omen for what lay in store for the rest of the morning.
Second Stop. Sam's.
We chose Sam's as our first real stop because of the obvious bulk nature of the purchases, 7,000 lbs. of dog food, super-jumbo packs of diapers, and 2.5 million wipes. Occasionally, Sam's will have marked down items in a cart near the entrance. Today, there was a basket full of shirts that had obviously been ruined somehow (I didn't investigate personally). There was a lady (Crazy Person #2, CP2) arguing with the lady who stands at the door and distractedly looks at your membership card, it went like this:
CP2 "Look how bad this one looks. They shouldn't even charge me."
Door Lady "I'm sure if you ask someone at customer service they can mark it down."
CP2 "But it's ruined, they should just give it to me."
Door Lady "You could probably get it for a dollar."
CP2 "But look how bad it looks, I can't believe they'd charge me for it."
Me "Then why do you even want it you FruitCake?"
June "Is something on sale?"
I'm just kidding about the end there, but come on what kind of argument is that? This is a peice of crap are you really going to charge me for it? Do you really want it then? I mean what the ...
Other than that we made it out of Sam's without any real problems, but loading the munchkins back into the Canyoneer, we noticed that Trouble was good and ready for some diaper replacement therapy.
Next. Barnes & Noble.
At the end of one isle we ran into a traffic jam, which it is always bad to stop moving with the twins, standing still enboldens the freaks, and of course some stranger took advantage of this pause to pounce on us.
"Twins? Boys or girls? One of each? You've sure got your hands full. I bet you hear that all the time. They probably get lots of attention."
"No, no one has actually ever approached us, being total strangers and all, and asked us personal questions about our family. You're the first to be so bold."
Annoying as she was, this is a common event for us, so no she does not get the CP4 title. That guy is a few isles over looking at vacuum cleaners, exactly where we're headed.
My wife has somehow convinced me that we need a vacuum called 'the absolute animal' by Dyson, which costs alot even though I don't think it runs itself. When we get to the vacuum cleaner isle, there is a guy there with this very same vacuum in his cart, this is CP4 or possibly VRG1 (Very Rude Guy#1). With his vacuum already in his shopping cart, he has managed to position himself as to block access to the much-covetted Dysons. After we arrive another guy shows up with an empty cart, "Wow, everybody wants a Dyson," he says. CP4 doesn't budge. "Is that the one you want, honey," I ask pointing at the barricaded cleaners trying to be subtle (one of my strong points of course). "Yes," she says as she crawls under CP4's cart and drags out her trophy. The whole time this guy doesn't budge. When we left that isle Mr. Patience was still waiting quietly for his turn.
One more thing to get and we're done, when who should appear in the mop isle but CP3 (the guy from Barnes and Noble). 'He is kind of creepy looking' I say to myself as he flashes me a big serial killer smile and follows us, empty-handed as he was, all the way to check out. He looks back at us and grins as we wait in line and he walks out of the store, no doubt in order to set up his diabolical ambush. We have to time our exit with a big crowd of Serbian immigrants, so as to escape undetected.
We hurry to the Canyoneer and flee for our lives. Another daunting narrow escape, and we live to blog another day.
-Ward
-Legal Disclaimer- This blog is based on mostly true events that actually nearly happened to us in some way, real or imagined. Some details may or may not be exaggerated to impress and entertain our loyal readers. If anyone is offended by the posting of this blog this is a truly unanticipated outcome, which we may or may not be honestly sorry about.
An Epic Tale of Shopping and Heroism
Starring Us
First stop. 7-11.
We stopped in for fuel (for us not the car), a coffee for me and a coke, cherry for the missus. She stayed in the car with the kids and I went in to get everything. Inside I encountered Crazy Person #1 for the day. Nothing too bad, just some lady talking to herself at the coffee station. I thought that she was talking to the man next to her, but he walked away leaving just her and me and she kept on going as if nothing had changed. When I ended up in line behind her, with my coffee, cherry coke and two donuts, I noticed that she had stopped talking and started singing. The cashier seemed irritated as she rang up the lady's coffee and two packs of menthol cigarettes, but not shocked. I should have taken this as an omen for what lay in store for the rest of the morning.
Second Stop. Sam's.
We chose Sam's as our first real stop because of the obvious bulk nature of the purchases, 7,000 lbs. of dog food, super-jumbo packs of diapers, and 2.5 million wipes. Occasionally, Sam's will have marked down items in a cart near the entrance. Today, there was a basket full of shirts that had obviously been ruined somehow (I didn't investigate personally). There was a lady (Crazy Person #2, CP2) arguing with the lady who stands at the door and distractedly looks at your membership card, it went like this:
CP2 "Look how bad this one looks. They shouldn't even charge me."
Door Lady "I'm sure if you ask someone at customer service they can mark it down."
CP2 "But it's ruined, they should just give it to me."
Door Lady "You could probably get it for a dollar."
CP2 "But look how bad it looks, I can't believe they'd charge me for it."
Me "Then why do you even want it you FruitCake?"
June "Is something on sale?"
I'm just kidding about the end there, but come on what kind of argument is that? This is a peice of crap are you really going to charge me for it? Do you really want it then? I mean what the ...
Other than that we made it out of Sam's without any real problems, but loading the munchkins back into the Canyoneer, we noticed that Trouble was good and ready for some diaper replacement therapy.
Next. Barnes & Noble.
Our next few errands were all in the same shopping center, and Sunday morning at Barnes and Noble seemed like the most obvious choice for a peaceful diaper change. So June took the little girl to the little girls room for a quick make-over, and I took Trauma to look at CD's. That's right, no REM, and not only that I was lucky enough to attract one of those really pushy-I-need-to-be-helping-you-or-you-should-leave-my-department salespeople. I left. So I went to hang out in the children's books until June got done in the restroom. Somewhere between there and me however she ran into CP3 (that's Crazy Person #3 if you're not paying attention).
CP3, she said, was some creepy old guy who thought that she was a young (baby-toting) college girl. She was very bothered by the encounter, and I, being the sensitive supportive spouse that I am, made fun of her. I told her that she should be flattered, and that she always over-reacts whenever some stud starts flirting with her. She wasn't amused, and we left the premises immeadtately.
Still no REM CD. June bought a bag for her Laptop so that we can Blog when we go out of town next weekend to a large family gathering, which is sure to be full of entertaining situations, so all involved should beware. But, nothing weird happened.
Last, but never least. Target.
At the end of one isle we ran into a traffic jam, which it is always bad to stop moving with the twins, standing still enboldens the freaks, and of course some stranger took advantage of this pause to pounce on us.
"Twins? Boys or girls? One of each? You've sure got your hands full. I bet you hear that all the time. They probably get lots of attention."
"No, no one has actually ever approached us, being total strangers and all, and asked us personal questions about our family. You're the first to be so bold."
Annoying as she was, this is a common event for us, so no she does not get the CP4 title. That guy is a few isles over looking at vacuum cleaners, exactly where we're headed.
My wife has somehow convinced me that we need a vacuum called 'the absolute animal' by Dyson, which costs alot even though I don't think it runs itself. When we get to the vacuum cleaner isle, there is a guy there with this very same vacuum in his cart, this is CP4 or possibly VRG1 (Very Rude Guy#1). With his vacuum already in his shopping cart, he has managed to position himself as to block access to the much-covetted Dysons. After we arrive another guy shows up with an empty cart, "Wow, everybody wants a Dyson," he says. CP4 doesn't budge. "Is that the one you want, honey," I ask pointing at the barricaded cleaners trying to be subtle (one of my strong points of course). "Yes," she says as she crawls under CP4's cart and drags out her trophy. The whole time this guy doesn't budge. When we left that isle Mr. Patience was still waiting quietly for his turn.
One more thing to get and we're done, when who should appear in the mop isle but CP3 (the guy from Barnes and Noble). 'He is kind of creepy looking' I say to myself as he flashes me a big serial killer smile and follows us, empty-handed as he was, all the way to check out. He looks back at us and grins as we wait in line and he walks out of the store, no doubt in order to set up his diabolical ambush. We have to time our exit with a big crowd of Serbian immigrants, so as to escape undetected.
We hurry to the Canyoneer and flee for our lives. Another daunting narrow escape, and we live to blog another day.
-Ward
-Legal Disclaimer- This blog is based on mostly true events that actually nearly happened to us in some way, real or imagined. Some details may or may not be exaggerated to impress and entertain our loyal readers. If anyone is offended by the posting of this blog this is a truly unanticipated outcome, which we may or may not be honestly sorry about.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Recipe for Instant Popularity - Have Multiples
It is hard to go anywhere with twins. Not for the reason you are probably thinking of right now, because it’s two babies and it’s twice as hard. Well, it’s at least three times harder probably but that isn’t why it’s hard to go anywhere. It’s all the spectators that make it hard.
On Tuesday, the really thorough housecleaners came for the last time so I took Trauma and Trouble to the mall, by myself. It was the first time out alone just the three of us and that seemed really daunting but it all went pretty well. We were only out for a little over an hour (our mall is truly pathetic). But while strolling through American Eagle (where I picked up the cutest little sack) a Liberty College student came up and ‘just (had) to see the babies’, she didn’t ask if that was alright, no she just moved the canopies to eye the children below. Of course she commented on their cuteness and that it was a boy and a girl (everyone points this out, like maybe we haven’t noticed). But all I could do was consider how rude and inconsiderate an action it was to just start messing with someone else car seats and stroller. I love children and babies but I would never have the audacity to saunter over to a stranger and start touching their personal effects and children. It’s one thing to look, but to actually touch. Didn’t their parents teach them anything?
So then on Wednesday the twins had their two month check-up. All that spit up, normal. How much Trauma’s eating, normal. The lack of bowel movements, normal. The slow weight increase, normal. All that gawking and questioning, apparently normal. There was even a lady there who had two year old twins of her own and she was even prying. From conversations I’ve had with other parents I’ve heard that babies are always an attraction, but evidently a group of babies is exponentially more thrilling for onlookers.
Thursday I had to take our 6 month old (only has 2800 miles on it) Sequoia to Toyota to have fabric around the never even used sunroof re-glued. The gentleman at the desk gave me a voucher for the waiting area café. I didn’t like the look of the café but I hadn’t eaten and I had time to spare so I said the heck with it. Well as soon as I strolled up to the counter the wait staff and other waiting Toyota owners began questioning me on names and ages, sex (the babies) and sleeping patterns. And of course they had to move the canopies. Ladies and Gentleman, those things are covering up the babies for a reason! All I wanted was eggs and toast, being a vegetarian I didn’t want to take the chance of ordering their “Grand Slam” and having bacon and sausage sit on top of my other food so I just ordered eggs and toast with butter. What did I get? A plate full of the greasiest bacon I have ever seen and toast that had been marinated in butter. No eggs. Apparently my order wasn’t as interesting as the twins so no one had paid attention to it. Fortunately, it was a voucher and I had brought along a Fiber One bar so I didn’t complain. I just threw the plate away and left. (I want to quickly add here, have you seen the cost of the newly redesigned 2008 Sequoia’s? Let’s put it this way, if the 2007’s cost that much I wouldn’t own one.)
So this afternoon we run to Sam’s. Most of the way through the store we were left alone but as you would pass some aisles you would hear people say “Oh, they have twins”. So we get to the check out and the cashier starts in asking us questions. Are these our first? Yes. Do we have any other children? No, first means initial, nothing preceding. Are we going to have any other children? What? We don’t know you and why would you even care. That hasn’t been decided on yet but when we decide she’ll be the first to know. Then she starts calling other people over to look at the twins. And canopies are moved and I can hear Ward mumbling the Lord’s name in vain and I think what are we in for over the next year or so or maybe even longer?
I know people, they’re twins. I gave birth to them and that I will never forget. I know they are the cutest babies ever, thank you. The pink clothes are because one is a girl, the blue because one is a boy. The canopies are there for our privacy, how about giving us some.
Are we unintitled as parents of twins to walk through the mall or buy crappy food and be left alone? Must we get rude with you? Do you even realize you’re being rude? Should we just stay at home to avoid the intrusion?
The morale of our story, introverts shouldn't have twins.
-June
On Tuesday, the really thorough housecleaners came for the last time so I took Trauma and Trouble to the mall, by myself. It was the first time out alone just the three of us and that seemed really daunting but it all went pretty well. We were only out for a little over an hour (our mall is truly pathetic). But while strolling through American Eagle (where I picked up the cutest little sack) a Liberty College student came up and ‘just (had) to see the babies’, she didn’t ask if that was alright, no she just moved the canopies to eye the children below. Of course she commented on their cuteness and that it was a boy and a girl (everyone points this out, like maybe we haven’t noticed). But all I could do was consider how rude and inconsiderate an action it was to just start messing with someone else car seats and stroller. I love children and babies but I would never have the audacity to saunter over to a stranger and start touching their personal effects and children. It’s one thing to look, but to actually touch. Didn’t their parents teach them anything?
So then on Wednesday the twins had their two month check-up. All that spit up, normal. How much Trauma’s eating, normal. The lack of bowel movements, normal. The slow weight increase, normal. All that gawking and questioning, apparently normal. There was even a lady there who had two year old twins of her own and she was even prying. From conversations I’ve had with other parents I’ve heard that babies are always an attraction, but evidently a group of babies is exponentially more thrilling for onlookers.
Thursday I had to take our 6 month old (only has 2800 miles on it) Sequoia to Toyota to have fabric around the never even used sunroof re-glued. The gentleman at the desk gave me a voucher for the waiting area café. I didn’t like the look of the café but I hadn’t eaten and I had time to spare so I said the heck with it. Well as soon as I strolled up to the counter the wait staff and other waiting Toyota owners began questioning me on names and ages, sex (the babies) and sleeping patterns. And of course they had to move the canopies. Ladies and Gentleman, those things are covering up the babies for a reason! All I wanted was eggs and toast, being a vegetarian I didn’t want to take the chance of ordering their “Grand Slam” and having bacon and sausage sit on top of my other food so I just ordered eggs and toast with butter. What did I get? A plate full of the greasiest bacon I have ever seen and toast that had been marinated in butter. No eggs. Apparently my order wasn’t as interesting as the twins so no one had paid attention to it. Fortunately, it was a voucher and I had brought along a Fiber One bar so I didn’t complain. I just threw the plate away and left. (I want to quickly add here, have you seen the cost of the newly redesigned 2008 Sequoia’s? Let’s put it this way, if the 2007’s cost that much I wouldn’t own one.)
So this afternoon we run to Sam’s. Most of the way through the store we were left alone but as you would pass some aisles you would hear people say “Oh, they have twins”. So we get to the check out and the cashier starts in asking us questions. Are these our first? Yes. Do we have any other children? No, first means initial, nothing preceding. Are we going to have any other children? What? We don’t know you and why would you even care. That hasn’t been decided on yet but when we decide she’ll be the first to know. Then she starts calling other people over to look at the twins. And canopies are moved and I can hear Ward mumbling the Lord’s name in vain and I think what are we in for over the next year or so or maybe even longer?
I know people, they’re twins. I gave birth to them and that I will never forget. I know they are the cutest babies ever, thank you. The pink clothes are because one is a girl, the blue because one is a boy. The canopies are there for our privacy, how about giving us some.
Are we unintitled as parents of twins to walk through the mall or buy crappy food and be left alone? Must we get rude with you? Do you even realize you’re being rude? Should we just stay at home to avoid the intrusion?
The morale of our story, introverts shouldn't have twins.
-June
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)