A Regular Charles Dickens

Because my husband, Ward, is the most helpful and creative husband EVER I asked him to help me in coming up with a poem for our Christmas Open House invitation. We're fun like that, we like to have poems accompany our holiday invitations and announcements. Being the sweet writer that he is he came up with this poem in just under five minutes:


Come bask in our Holiday spirit
We’re so merry we can hardly stand it
We’re overflowing with holiday cheer
And we also have wine and beer

We’ve Christmas trees in several rooms
To help fight bah humbug gloom
We hope our home will bring you pleasure
And the flashing lights won’t cause a seizure

We invite you all young and old
to come on over and out of the cold
and have a drink and have a bite
and enjoy a rather un-silent night

Being the appreciative wife that I am, I of course said 'thank you'. However, I think I may go the simpler route on the invitation.

Like A Poll, Only Better

So fellow bloggers last night or the night before last, I won't say which night, some friends of ours came over to play Say Anything, a really fun game and one of the categories was "What's the best U2 song?" I was surprised by how many people didn't even know a name of a U2 song yet alone have a favorite.

So here is what I am going to do and here is what I want all my fellow blog buddies to do. I am going to post a You Tube vid of my favorite U2 song and then you are going to be so moved as to share with me your favorite U2 song so you are going to post your favorite U2 song and then come and link it to me in my comment box so that I and all the other U2 fans can come check it out.

So here's mine:



Your turn...

Why I Wish Gas Didn't Cost as Much as a Venti Latte

Yesterday, after we picked up our photos at Olan Mills (where they didn't even try to sell me shots I hadn't ordered) I decided that there wasn't enough time between our appointment at the portrait studio and our 1 pm playdate to go home. I had brought along the Nikon for the playdate so I decided to go on a little journey, to Appomattox which is only a little further than where our playdate was scheduled in Concord. I made it into a mini road trip. The babies got there nap.

Even if none of the shots I took were any good, and after viewing Timothy's photo site I really doubt they are, it was a lot of fun. To listen to music (I was far enough out to actually get the one and only decent radio station around here) and enjoy the open road. I thought about Jack Kerouac and how after reading that book all I wanted to do was go somewhere. That cross country trip to Mesa that we always discuss but never take.

I ventured down roads I had never even noticed and found ramshackled homes and out houses. When I was in high school me and a friend would take mini road trips whenever we got the chance. Back when gas was the price of a small Hardees cup of coffee.

I was a little wreckless in my fun, pulling over on the side of the highway to get a shot of Moore's Country Store and almost stopping to catch the people watching Highway 460. The radio played R.E.M., I rolled the windows down. I turned around to shoot another Super Mega Church and The Lee Grant Motel and Free Museum. It was more adventure than I had partaken in for quite some time. It was an engaging afternoon.

I was a little sad when it was time for the playdate.

-june

I Thought He Was Kidding

So recently someone told Ward that Liberty University was going to open a year round ski-slope. Yes, you heard me right, a year round ski-slope in a region that gets coined often as having Goldilocks Weather. I thought it must be a joke, it sounded pretty funny. But nope, turns out this is really going to happen. As if those big stone monogram letters weren't enough reminder that LU controls this city, here is more proof.

I am really not that upset. I think Liberty does a lot of good things for the city. I don't personally miss having a Hooters beside O'Charley's and the fact that there is a tunnel under the expressway just for students to get to their dormitories is pretty impressive. And besides, I like skiing.

I mean I really like skiing. Ward and I used to do a lot of skiing before I got pregnant. I had actually gotten pretty good and we both bought skis three months before I finally got pregnant. We have half-heartedly joked that we are going to teach the kids to ski by age 3. Now we can teach them ANY time of the year.

Yep, this will really put us on the map. And to think the money for the project was 'anonymously donated'.

So when you guys come into town in mid-July to ski at the sinthetic ski slopes, look us up. We'll have you over for salad or something.

-june

Just How Crazy Am I?

This crazy.

Yesterday I railroaded my husband into going to Barnes and Noble with me. For what?
For this:



Like I always say, it's never too early to begin planning your next vacation. I have already wishlisted a few other 2009 books at amazon.com.

We are thinking that it will be easier to just make California and Disney our trip (and less expensice too). So we are REALLY hoping that everyone from Arizona will come.

-june

Life and Whatnot.

Having twins. That is the easy part. Trying to do anything else, that is the hard part. Anytime I manage to do anything other than care for the twins and write a post, I am ecstatic.



This weekend, I was in ecstasy.



I managed to do housecleaning on Friday. And attend a ball game. I slept several hours.



Saturday I woke up early, took the twins for a walk with my siblings and nephew and went to Panera for breakfast. Then I went to Sam's, Target, Kohl's back to Target, Goody's and the grocery store. I was in desperate need of Groceries and on a wild goose hunt to find my sister a birthday gift, a particularly cute frame for which I cannot remember where I first saw it and have since to find it.



I then went home, ate unhealthily for lunch and unpacked the car. We straightened the house, the main floor had so much clutter I contemplated going back to Sam's and purchasing an 'OPEN' sign and opening shop. I decided instead to move the mass amount of clutter to my bedroom and shut the door. I waited all afternoon for our guests to arrive promptly at 'noonish' as per their email. At 4p.m. they called and said they were running a little late. I love how people can be so thoughtful. But anyways, I made potato salad and waited.



In the evening we went to my sister's where we celebrated her birthday (presentless I am afraid) and my brother called to tell me that he and Lucy's plans for prom had been slightly delayed (fortnately they were able to show up very fashionably, yet late). Our friends, Fawn and Jason, whom were staying the weekend at our house with their boys MJ, Doc and Mr. T. finally showed up at about 7:30, about the time we had to leave to get our children home and in bed. My sister's friend from high school was in town to see my sister and she had made her a birthday cake. Turns out, I don't really care much for Milk cake.



We came home and put the twins down and went back downstairs to wait for the family to show up. We made deviled eggs (how does anyone accomplish peeling a hard boiled egg successfully I would love to know). We made brownies for a chocolate trifle and brownies with marshmallows. At around 11 p.m. their family showed up. We showed them were they would be staying and talked for a while. At 1 a.m. Ward and I decided to have a banana bread cookoff. We would make banana bread using whatever ingredients we had and see whose tasted better. I used bananas and heavy whipping cream and vanilla and pecans along withother normal ingredients and he used cinnamon and walnuts and chocolate chips and brown sugar and well we cooked them and tasted them and you know what? It turns out you can put just about anything you want into banana bread, it tastes the same. The chocolate chips were truly the only noticably difference. We stayed up baking and talking with Jason and Fawn until 3:30.



At 3:40 Coop woke up hungry. At 6:30 Coop woke up hungry. At 7 Bailey woke up hungry.



We didn't sleep much. By 8 am Sunday Ward was out mowing the grass. At 10 when Jason and Fawn came up they made fun of us for being up so early, as if we had a choice. They have a baby, Mr. T, who was born February 2nd and I don't know how they got anymore sleep than we did, except I guess we have two.



Sunday morning we made a trifle, baked beans, mac and cheese, and pound cake. At 2 p.m. we had a cookout, for which almost everyone invited came and came on time. I was running the taddest bit behind. Showers always seem last minute and extremely rushed for me. I had a great time at the cookout, as I hope all who attended did. I love having all of the kids here and there were so many babies here as well. Our neighbor brought one of those blow up bouncy things and the kids had a great time.



Most people left pretty early, by 8 or so and we cleaned up. Then we sat around reading Robert Munsch books and talking about children. At 1 am I excused myself and went to bed, I don't know how some people can stay up all night and function well the next day.



Monday our guests stayed until 3 pm and then in the afternoon I had my family over for a 'leftovers cookout' for which I made more beans and mac and cheese and now I have more food than I did before the 'leftovers cookout'. The babies went to bed rather early, out by 7 p.m. so Ward and I went out and cleaned our garage up, entirely. Folks, I am proud to say that our garage, for the first time in over a year, has two cars parked in it again. Those of you here for the cookouts this weekend probably wouldn't even recognize it. You would walk in and think you had entered someone elses house, except for the dogs barking at you.



We then watched a movie and wrote a review.



This morning I have moved a treadmill, but not walked on one. I have recleaned almost everything cleaned on Friday and feel that with a little bit of pressure I can get almost anything done.



The twins had a pretty good weekend, someone was holding them constantly (our friends like babies way more than my extended family does). They have been a little unhappy this morning that I can't hold them both all morning. They are napping and where as I should be folding and sorting back up laundry, I came to journalize the weekend and explain to you that I had a very busy weekend but nothing really happened.



Wow, you must be thinking, all this to tell us nothing really happened.



I know, I know.



Today I begin packing for our upcoming busy weekend.



-june

More Suggestions! Everyone, Everyone!

In a little over a week we are headed to Pennsylvania to meet up with my brother and sister in-law and their four children. I am looking forward to seeing them and introducing the twins. We have a busy week planned that includes Hershey Park, Gettysburg, Our Nations Capitol and possibly a visit to where our Nation Reunited that is only down the road from here. You all do know where we 'reunited' right? Bonus points and a kiss if you can tell me who received the surrender and what he did when he received the surrender and how that same person was significant in Gettysburg (this person if my favorite historical individual from the Civil War and I don't feel that enough people know about him).

But I digress, that is not at all what this post is really about. My point is that I am looking forward to the trip even though it may be a little stress inducing and costly. One thing I am looking forward to is the driving.

I LOVE to drive. I really do and with the exception of gas getting so gosh darn expensive I would love to go on more road trips. I love driving and encountering new places, I love listening to music that I haven't gotten to listen to in a while on long drives and I love the conversations that Ward and I get to have when we have hours alone in the car. I know the dynamics of conversation will change over the next few years but I still look forward to future car trips.

I tend to be the 'captain' on our car trips because I really enjoy the driving and I think that the time goes by faster in the drivers seat.

So I am beginning to think about what music to bring along on our trip and I thought I would ask you, my four (or is it five?) loyal readers to tell me your favorite albums. Now you must tell me at least one, but more would be great. You must tell me your favorite album no matter what you think I might think of the artist. If you think it is a really good album I want to give it a shot and road trips are the best for this sort of thing. I need to know soon so I can search good used or sale prices and talk Ward into lifting the moratorium a few days early.

You can leave your favorite album anonymously without signing up with blogger, so let me know. And if I hate it, I won't make fun of you, I promise. I just want to have some new things to listen to.

I expect to hear from all of you. Wesley's mom, James, Chris AND Erin, People who live in Indiana, and Falcon_81 as well as anyone else who want to contribute.

I am excited. Don't let me down by not suggesting something.

Here I will go first.

I absolutely love Simon's 'Graceland', GBV 'Bee Thousand', The Smiths 'The Queen is Dead' and R.E.M. 'Green' just to name a few but I could go on forever and ever.

-june

Not having internet access until June is no excuse by the way to not answer.

GEEK LOVE

A novel.

I just finished reading this book, at the recommendation of half of the women in my life. I remember thinking to myself, "Hmm, Geek Love. I was a geek."

Well, no I wasn't. Nor have I ever known anyone who was. A Geek you see, is the person in a Carnival Freak show who bites the heads off of live chickens (and sometimes Geese). I must have just been a dork.

Geek Love is a fictional book by Katherine Dunn about a certain Carnival Family who decides to "engineer" their own freak show through a twisted process of drug filled pregnancies. So if drinking insecticide only gives you an albino dwarf baby, then next time add some LSD to the mix. I'm serious, this is what the book is about. The totally dysfunctional lives of a family of freaks.

How was it? It was good. If you read a lot I would recommend it. If you don't read a lot, then I would recommend you spend your time reading something better. It wasn't great, but once I was about half-way through I found myself wanting to know what was going to happen next. I was let down with the ending though.

So there you go. Another five minutes of your life wasted finding out what I think about something.

-Ward

The News and Advance Just Got Better

I get the paper on Sundays. Besides the weekly Target circular and Dear Abby I didn't actually do much reading of the paper until...I found this article recently in the News And Advance.



His name is Scott Hollifield. I think he is the best thing the News and Advance has had to offer besides Ken West's column and I don't get the Wednesday paper so I can't read that one anymore. Hollifield is funny and his writing is good. I highly recommend him if you are interested in knowing how to protect yourself from Panda Attacks, Stephen Hawking's take on only 'weirdos' being alien abducted and the latest in rodent Robot Squirrels.

If those things don't interest you, you may find his articles a little weird.

-june

Did Trolls Do This?

When Ward and I were first married we lived in a townhouse in the city. The backyard was the cities largest park. We walked there, we drank illegally there, we almost got arrested there, we played paintball there. When I got my Nikon N60, it was there that I took my first photos with it (of this very bridge). When we moved into our first house and got Max and Jake we took them walking there. My sister and I used to go bike riding there. It holds a lot of memories for me. Some positive, some not so.

But two years ago we moved into the county and we are a good trek from that old park. We would occasionally go there to play tennis (not very well) or to play Frisbee Golf (no not really, though it is a very popular sport there). When we had Cooper and Bailey I was excited about taking them to the park for walks, to play chase, to play ball, to climb on the new rock wall. So we have gone to the park a few times since their birth.

On our first trip I noticed something really sad.

This beautiful bridge in the cities 'nicest' park,

is rotting away.

I mean you can feel how rotten it is when you walk across it and you can even see through the wood floor joists. That to me, doesn't seem like a good thing.
I can just imagine someone making a false move and the bridge collapsing. That does occasionally happen you know.
I am saddened by the fact that our cities finest park is deteriorating and no one seems to care. Not the Frisbee Golf players, not the other parents, not the cities Parks and Recreation division, not the Tennis players. I wonder what will be the state of this park when our kids are finally old enough to use the rock climbing wall and did trolls do this?

-june

Dub-ya

Is it strange that I am kinda interested in this?

I mean Oliver Stone has given us (directed) many great things:

Platoon, Wall Street, Born On The Fourth Of July, The Doors, JFK, Natural Born Killers.

I Do Believe

So I'm a geek. No news there, right? Anyway, my favorite-all-time TV show was the X-Files. I know, it got kind of annoying at the end, but you have to admit that the first three or four seasons were as good as it gets.

Mind you, I've never been a huge fan of television, but I do appreciate good television. I'm just a little dimscriminating thats all. Most of the stuff on TV is garbage, obviously that is just my opinion, but this whole thing is just my opinion, so deal with it.

My point is this, I just heard about the new X-Files movie, I Want To Believe, and I am very excited. It comes out July 25, 2008. I know, the last time they made a movie it wasn't that great. It fell victim to the weight of the convoluted alien conspiracy story arc that had taken over the show and was holding us all hostage.

They say that this time it's going to be different. They say that this time Chris Carter is writing it himself. They say that this time they're dropping the whole alien-ice pick-black oil-bee colony crap and getting back to the old X-Files. They say that this time we'll be able to keep up with what is happening. They say that this time it's going to be good.

I Want To Belive.

-Ward

It's About A Demonic Bunny Rabbit Named Frank

No, Not Really.


OK, maybe slightly.


You Should Really See This.








It brings troubled adolescent, Dukakis election, child pornography, chicken little complex, parallel time, cellar door, and smurf talk in a movie to a whole new level.


And if that isn't enough, it has some awesome music to boot.

Here, take a listen and see what you think.












I know, that's a lot. But who doesn't love Echo and the Bunnymen, Joy Division, The Church and Tears for Fears?

-june

I Just Didn't Want It Badly Enough I Suppose

OK, OK. I realize that most of you aren't going to care a bit for this post but I think it is rather funny. But then again I find the human reproductive system pretty funny.

Anyways. I... Read... People Magazine.

I know, I know. I am losing cool points by the bucket load this week. But a few weeks ago I got the issue with J Lo on the cover with her twins. I must admit I was intrigued, so I started reading the article and I was insulted and a little enraged about what she said about her FINALLY getting pregnant so I stopped reading the article and have resided to thinking less and less of her, which isn't good because I never really like her. But then this morning I found this letter someone 'wrote' to her. And I have to say. My sentiments exactly!

So read this. Or don't.

And if you are a huge J Lo fan, I apologize. Doubly. Once because you are and twice because this makes fun of her.

Maybe you have to suffer infertility to truly appreciate this.

-june

I have been wondering how much she got from People for those 'Exclusive' photos?

They Should Make Spell Check For Posters

Wouldn't you agree?

-june

Survive a Riot and Avoid Being Shot By a Police Officer

This appeared on the front page of my iGoogle this morning under my How To Of The Day. Very educational. Thought I should share as some of you may be involved in Riots more often then myself.

Survive a Riot - wikiHow

I also found helpful while visiting wiki's How To:

Avoid Being Shot By A Police Officer


I would have thought brandishing a weapon in front of the police when they are trying to arrest you would be a good thing. Shows what I know and how useful wikiHow really is.

-june

So We Went Out Shopping With The Twins Again...

or,

An Epic Tale of Shopping and Heroism
Starring Us

First stop. 7-11.

We stopped in for fuel (for us not the car), a coffee for me and a coke, cherry for the missus. She stayed in the car with the kids and I went in to get everything. Inside I encountered Crazy Person #1 for the day. Nothing too bad, just some lady talking to herself at the coffee station. I thought that she was talking to the man next to her, but he walked away leaving just her and me and she kept on going as if nothing had changed. When I ended up in line behind her, with my coffee, cherry coke and two donuts, I noticed that she had stopped talking and started singing. The cashier seemed irritated as she rang up the lady's coffee and two packs of menthol cigarettes, but not shocked. I should have taken this as an omen for what lay in store for the rest of the morning.


Second Stop. Sam's.

We chose Sam's as our first real stop because of the obvious bulk nature of the purchases, 7,000 lbs. of dog food, super-jumbo packs of diapers, and 2.5 million wipes. Occasionally, Sam's will have marked down items in a cart near the entrance. Today, there was a basket full of shirts that had obviously been ruined somehow (I didn't investigate personally). There was a lady (Crazy Person #2, CP2) arguing with the lady who stands at the door and distractedly looks at your membership card, it went like this:

CP2 "Look how bad this one looks. They shouldn't even charge me."

Door Lady "I'm sure if you ask someone at customer service they can mark it down."

CP2 "But it's ruined, they should just give it to me."

Door Lady "You could probably get it for a dollar."

CP2 "But look how bad it looks, I can't believe they'd charge me for it."

Me "Then why do you even want it you FruitCake?"

June "Is something on sale?"

I'm just kidding about the end there, but come on what kind of argument is that? This is a peice of crap are you really going to charge me for it? Do you really want it then? I mean what the ...

Other than that we made it out of Sam's without any real problems, but loading the munchkins back into the Canyoneer, we noticed that Trouble was good and ready for some diaper replacement therapy.


Next. Barnes & Noble.

Our next few errands were all in the same shopping center, and Sunday morning at Barnes and Noble seemed like the most obvious choice for a peaceful diaper change. So June took the little girl to the little girls room for a quick make-over, and I took Trauma to look at CD's. That's right, no REM, and not only that I was lucky enough to attract one of those really pushy-I-need-to-be-helping-you-or-you-should-leave-my-department salespeople. I left. So I went to hang out in the children's books until June got done in the restroom. Somewhere between there and me however she ran into CP3 (that's Crazy Person #3 if you're not paying attention).

CP3, she said, was some creepy old guy who thought that she was a young (baby-toting) college girl. She was very bothered by the encounter, and I, being the sensitive supportive spouse that I am, made fun of her. I told her that she should be flattered, and that she always over-reacts whenever some stud starts flirting with her. She wasn't amused, and we left the premises immeadtately.

Then. Best Buy.

Still no REM CD. June bought a bag for her Laptop so that we can Blog when we go out of town next weekend to a large family gathering, which is sure to be full of entertaining situations, so all involved should beware. But, nothing weird happened.

Last, but never least. Target.

We had a short list of about 796 things to get at Target, that's why it has to be the last stop on the trip, because June often is there to help close the store. No REM CD, dang it! We looked at Mother's Day cards, and quickly found the perfect one, which we fought over whose mother to send it to. It read: "Mom, my therapist says that it's not totally your fault for the way I turned out. Dad screwed me up plenty too." She won, it's going to her mom. Dang it again!
At the end of one isle we ran into a traffic jam, which it is always bad to stop moving with the twins, standing still enboldens the freaks, and of course some stranger took advantage of this pause to pounce on us.

"Twins? Boys or girls? One of each? You've sure got your hands full. I bet you hear that all the time. They probably get lots of attention."

"No, no one has actually ever approached us, being total strangers and all, and asked us personal questions about our family. You're the first to be so bold."

Annoying as she was, this is a common event for us, so no she does not get the CP4 title. That guy is a few isles over looking at vacuum cleaners, exactly where we're headed.
My wife has somehow convinced me that we need a vacuum called 'the absolute animal' by Dyson, which costs alot even though I don't think it runs itself. When we get to the vacuum cleaner isle, there is a guy there with this very same vacuum in his cart, this is CP4 or possibly VRG1 (Very Rude Guy#1). With his vacuum already in his shopping cart, he has managed to position himself as to block access to the much-covetted Dysons. After we arrive another guy shows up with an empty cart, "Wow, everybody wants a Dyson," he says. CP4 doesn't budge. "Is that the one you want, honey," I ask pointing at the barricaded cleaners trying to be subtle (one of my strong points of course). "Yes," she says as she crawls under CP4's cart and drags out her trophy. The whole time this guy doesn't budge. When we left that isle Mr. Patience was still waiting quietly for his turn.

One more thing to get and we're done, when who should appear in the mop isle but CP3 (the guy from Barnes and Noble). 'He is kind of creepy looking' I say to myself as he flashes me a big serial killer smile and follows us, empty-handed as he was, all the way to check out. He looks back at us and grins as we wait in line and he walks out of the store, no doubt in order to set up his diabolical ambush. We have to time our exit with a big crowd of Serbian immigrants, so as to escape undetected.

We hurry to the Canyoneer and flee for our lives. Another daunting narrow escape, and we live to blog another day.

-Ward



-Legal Disclaimer- This blog is based on mostly true events that actually nearly happened to us in some way, real or imagined. Some details may or may not be exaggerated to impress and entertain our loyal readers. If anyone is offended by the posting of this blog this is a truly unanticipated outcome, which we may or may not be honestly sorry about.

I'm Glad I had Children and I Hope They Visit

An elderly woman was found by her apartment manager after being stuck in the tub for five days. Five days folks. She took a bath and then couldn't get out and had to wait until someone came to help her get out.

Five days. Of going to the toilet in the tub. Of not eating in the tub. Of sleeping in the tub. Of nakedness in the tub. Of not bathing because you are stuck in a tub with your waste, which is probably not a whole lot anyways because your not eating.

At least it was the tub and therefore water was availble whenever she pleased because otherwise maybe she wouldn't have survivied.

I wonder did she not have children who lived nearby? But then again I go five months without talking to my mother, this could happen to her and no one would even know about it. I am glad I have children and I am going to be nice to them from now on because not only do they choose your nursing home they may save you from the tub.

When I am older I hope I have children with whom I am close and I hope they visit.

-June