Friday, June 24, 2011

Hello Again

I have thought quite a bit over the past months about what to do with this blog. Delete it in its entirety? Just leave it be? Actually try posting or updating? Sort of stuck in limbo I just pushed it from my mind, which has been all too easy.

And then I started having that old desire again. The desire, that is, to write. I picked back up the old journals for a while but lately I just feel the desire to blog again. I have thought about starting a new blog, mainly because this blog's identity seems to be so confused, but then I decided that is exactly what I am, confused. So here we go again. Can't promise for how long, but at least for today here I am.

There is no way to sum up the past 9 or 10 months in a single blog post so I will be as brief as possible. I continue to run. Actually my running changed last October and that is pretty much when I let the blog go. As I have mentioned before I am very single minded and one idea obsessed and so my life became taking care of my family and running. And that was about all. I ran races almost every weekend from 5ks to halfs, and upped my training even further, focusing on injury prevention and distance running. On New Year's Eve I signed up for a 10k, a marathon and a 50k. I made 2011 goals and started waking at 5 am to run long runs with a group of runners I had managed to meet at local races. At this point there is so much to say and I will not attempt it in this blog. But I ran, and I ran and I ran. I got faster and faster. However, something happened, a miraculous thing completely unexpected and at the moment I am lucky to run 10 miles a week. But I am still a runner and I am still running. So far this year I've run 12 races, among them 5ks, 10ks, half marathons, 25ks and a 50k. I am planning more running and racing for the year but am also excited about the prospect of running for the next 39 years. Even if I am never as fast as the likes of Deena Kastor or Kara Goucher I will still strive to be the best that I can be because I realized earlier this year that I was born for this.

Our children are growing. The twins are so big I can't even believe it myself sometimes and I see the transition every day no matter how subtle it is. They are an active bunch but that mostly means they a fun bunch. I never thought it would be this hard, this trying. I want to (and do) scream a lot. But I want to be with them, spend time with them. I know how lucky I am that I get to stay home with them, lucky that Todd and I both find that a priority. Sean is almost two which seems impossible. He is a mover but not a talker. Everything is "ah, huh, eh, nuh" with him. He has me nervous that he is behind developmentally but I took him to the pediatrician and he wouldn't stop saying 'car' and pointing at everything in the office throughout the evaluation so the doctor wasn't a bit concerned. So I decided to look into early intervention on my own and he chose that day to finally say 'more', 'shoes', and 'pool'. So I've decided for now that he's just decided that his place in the family will be the quiet one. If only the twins weren't capable of singing "American Pie" all the way through I might be able to leave his speech delays alone but I still fret over why he seems so far behind them.

Earlier this year we decided to sell our house. We didn't want to but work was slow and it seemed like the best option. Now we are not selling the house. Work is still slow but we sold our big SUV and refinanced and are cutting out every like extra we can afford to live without and are holding at the moment. We've had a couple things fall into place for us this year and though it's been a tough year it's not been a bad one if that makes sense.

I don't know when I'll find the time to write. Cooper has decided naps are for girls and two-year-olds but not three year old boys, it just so happens we had a long pool day after a busy night running 100ms with them at the track until 9 pm last night so he is for once sleeping during daytime hours. But it I should ever stop this way again, I'll try and write a post or two.

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