Can't Wait For School Lunch Options, Need to Be Crazy NOW

I'm a little bit of a, well let's see how to put this, a nut, I guess. After my failed attempt at Breastfeeding I pumped for as long as I could when at around 4 months the crying babies during the painful tri-hourly ordeal became more than I could bear and then I switched, slowly but determinedly to formula. I was so guilt ridden that I would only agree to Enfamil for my babies and of course Nursery water. I didn't change my stride even when the pediatrician balked at me, no I continued to buy bottled gallon jugs of water to mix the formula with at Target at a whopping $1.19 a jug. By five months I was becoming utterly depressed with the cost of Enfamil for a week for the twins so I begrudingly switched to the Sam's brand, but I wouldn't give up the bottled water. I will switch to tap at 6 months, I assured Ward. Six months came and went and the bottled water was just a habit at this point. I just want the best for my children, and having failed that route, I wanted the second best, and having been to poor for that option the third best, bottled Nursery water with premium Member's Mark formula.

Recently the twins have been eating more and more solid foods for at least two meals a day.Having fought me for months with the baby Oatmeal I have given in and am introducing as of yesterday, fruits in a jar, yum. Coop and Bailey seem to LOVE it, three meals a day here we come, and of course altered snacks of Zwieback and Puffs, Gerber must love me, nut that I am. With the meal routine they drink less formula but we are still going through 2-3 gallons a week of the water. But I am just having a hard time letting it go.

Then, three days ago, an epiphany. That Brita water filter that I never use, well, it could be the answer to bottled jugs of water. The filters aren't cheap but I can buy them in bulk at Sam's and it beats having to run to Target to get several gallons of water which is not easy by myself. So a compromise, tap water through a filter. I feel better about this already.

Do you think, say in ten years or so, I will finally get over my guilt and anger over the my nursing failures? Geez, I hope so.

-june

p.s. It was hard for me to switch but now that I have, Member's Mark formula seems fine and is SOOOOOO much cheaper. Formula now costs about $80 a month compared to $360 a month.

Amazon NEVER Forgets

This is a silly quick post but I am flabbergasted, yep, I said it, flabbergasted. I just bought something from amazon, my favorite place in the world, and that something gave me a sweet deal from Shutterfly in my 'media library' that I have never visited before today. Turns out I have had other sweet deals in the past that I never even realized but have long since expired. One of those sweet deals was for a camera that I bought after I thought my Nikon N60 kicked the bucket some years ago (I got the Nikon N60 as a gift and then it 'broke' four years later, but it really just turned out that the camera was acting funny and the guy at Ritz was an idiot because a year ago I gambled $12 on a replacement battery for it just for the fun of it and guess what it works, so I went without my favorite camera for years because some highschooler thought they knew something about 35mm cameras when he really didn't, but that's another blog really.....). Back to the camera, A Minolta Zoom 160c Date 35mm camera to be exact, purchased October 24, 2004 from amazon. Amazon still has all the information about the purchase and I didn't even remember that I bought it from amazon. It must have been in the beginning of our relatioship when I wasn't a prime member and have wish lists as long as Santas bad lists.

That Konica Minolta camera, it was purchased because I used to work at a photo lab and my favorite customer owned a Minolta and when I looked into it this was the only one I could find, I should have gone digital back then because that camera was AWFUL! Come to think of it that camera made me go digital, I bought my first digital camera in May of 2005 before visiting the Rocky Mountains. That Minolta sits in its carrying case to this very day, if I thought I could get a dime for it I would sell it, I probably should give it to my mother-in-law who's still using~gasp~ disposables!

But amazon, dear sweeet amazon, you are like the big grey elephant, ginormous and never forgetting, and I HEART you. I mean no one else not even me, remembers so much about me or my purchasing and that, that really means something.

-june

I Never Said I Wasn't Crazy

Yesterday, my sister and the X-man came over for a vist, a Playdate if you will. I made a healthy lunch (Frozen Pizza and Cookies) and the kids took toys from one another.

At one point my sister went into our pantry (which is a walk-in pantry) and she said Why do you have so many different kinds of salad dressing? Do you eat a lot of salad?

No, they were on sale.

Then she scoffed at me.

Later, we were talking about formula. I told her that I was mixing my left over free samples of formula with me regular formula. Because I am cheap.

I don't think your cheap she said.

And she scoffed at me AGAIN!

Then I turned the can to her and showed her that my 3 lb. 3 oz container was in fact Member's Mark and cost only 19.86 a can. A far improvement as I had been spending almost $25 on a 26 oz can of Enfamil before I took the advice of experienced mothers in the know.

So this morning I was looking through the pantry and I noticed all of those salad dressings, Ranch, Thousand Island, French, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Zesty Italien, and more Ranch. And I thought to myself. Self, why do you have all of those dressings, you don't even like French and you have never had Thousand Island.

And do you know what I said to myself. I said, because you are crazy... and obsessive.

Well that's June for you.

Just How Crazy Am I?

This crazy.

Yesterday I railroaded my husband into going to Barnes and Noble with me. For what?
For this:



Like I always say, it's never too early to begin planning your next vacation. I have already wishlisted a few other 2009 books at amazon.com.

We are thinking that it will be easier to just make California and Disney our trip (and less expensice too). So we are REALLY hoping that everyone from Arizona will come.

-june

Prepared oh no OVER prepared

I am unpacking and listening to Alien Lanes.

I have been unpacking, doing laundry and cleaning since we got home Saturday afternoon. Almost half the length of our vacation. Why am I still unpacking? Because we rented a U-haul for our vacation, which came in very handy but was larger than we needed (5X8) so we brought along some other things 'just in case' we needed them. Here is some of what we brought along:

4 coolers
2 high chairs
2 pack 'n plays
1 pack size 1 diapers
1 pack 1-2 diapers
1 pack size 2 pampers
1 pack size 2 huggies
2 packs huggies swimmers
food for 124 people for 7 days (we only had 10)
12 beach towels
1 raft
1 volleyball
4 badminton rackets and multiple birdies (lost most of these)
1 Graco Douglider
1 double jogger
2 large suitcases of clothes (to change 13 times a day)
2 duffle bags of baby clothes
1 monitor
3 cases sunscreen from 30 spf to 60
bread, bread and more bread (most of which molded before the week ended)
1 jumparoo
1 exerciser
2 laptops (which we NEVER even used ONCE)
1 giant frisbee thingy
1 frisbee regular
1 large beach blanket
1 large beach towel blanket
4 baby blankets
1 laundry basket
1 thing detergent, fabric softener but NO stain remover (BIG, BIG mistake)
paper cups x160
paper plates x500
paper napkins x12 rolls
toilet paper x30
every kind of ziploc item Target carries
Tupperware for storage
waffle maker
cheese grater
cookbooks
mixer minus the beaters (???)
candy
cereal x8 boxes, 7 never even opened
burp clothes
changing table assembly for one pack 'n play
32 jars of baby food
2 Sam's cases of formula
16 bottles
100 liners
20 nipples
1 small tube of patience (gone by day 2)
1 beach umbrella
2 beach chairs
5 cases cherry coke (I ran out because everyone likes cherry coke apparently)


So you get the point. Next year were not going to the beach we are going to Disney Land so the following year I will have forgotten how much of this stuff was unnecessary and I will bring way too much again.

-the crazy lady who likes to go on vacation but then does nothing but complain about it the whole time she is there and then for two weeks after she gets back before she miraculously forgets it was stressful and starts planning the next vacation

Life and Whatnot.

Having twins. That is the easy part. Trying to do anything else, that is the hard part. Anytime I manage to do anything other than care for the twins and write a post, I am ecstatic.



This weekend, I was in ecstasy.



I managed to do housecleaning on Friday. And attend a ball game. I slept several hours.



Saturday I woke up early, took the twins for a walk with my siblings and nephew and went to Panera for breakfast. Then I went to Sam's, Target, Kohl's back to Target, Goody's and the grocery store. I was in desperate need of Groceries and on a wild goose hunt to find my sister a birthday gift, a particularly cute frame for which I cannot remember where I first saw it and have since to find it.



I then went home, ate unhealthily for lunch and unpacked the car. We straightened the house, the main floor had so much clutter I contemplated going back to Sam's and purchasing an 'OPEN' sign and opening shop. I decided instead to move the mass amount of clutter to my bedroom and shut the door. I waited all afternoon for our guests to arrive promptly at 'noonish' as per their email. At 4p.m. they called and said they were running a little late. I love how people can be so thoughtful. But anyways, I made potato salad and waited.



In the evening we went to my sister's where we celebrated her birthday (presentless I am afraid) and my brother called to tell me that he and Lucy's plans for prom had been slightly delayed (fortnately they were able to show up very fashionably, yet late). Our friends, Fawn and Jason, whom were staying the weekend at our house with their boys MJ, Doc and Mr. T. finally showed up at about 7:30, about the time we had to leave to get our children home and in bed. My sister's friend from high school was in town to see my sister and she had made her a birthday cake. Turns out, I don't really care much for Milk cake.



We came home and put the twins down and went back downstairs to wait for the family to show up. We made deviled eggs (how does anyone accomplish peeling a hard boiled egg successfully I would love to know). We made brownies for a chocolate trifle and brownies with marshmallows. At around 11 p.m. their family showed up. We showed them were they would be staying and talked for a while. At 1 a.m. Ward and I decided to have a banana bread cookoff. We would make banana bread using whatever ingredients we had and see whose tasted better. I used bananas and heavy whipping cream and vanilla and pecans along withother normal ingredients and he used cinnamon and walnuts and chocolate chips and brown sugar and well we cooked them and tasted them and you know what? It turns out you can put just about anything you want into banana bread, it tastes the same. The chocolate chips were truly the only noticably difference. We stayed up baking and talking with Jason and Fawn until 3:30.



At 3:40 Coop woke up hungry. At 6:30 Coop woke up hungry. At 7 Bailey woke up hungry.



We didn't sleep much. By 8 am Sunday Ward was out mowing the grass. At 10 when Jason and Fawn came up they made fun of us for being up so early, as if we had a choice. They have a baby, Mr. T, who was born February 2nd and I don't know how they got anymore sleep than we did, except I guess we have two.



Sunday morning we made a trifle, baked beans, mac and cheese, and pound cake. At 2 p.m. we had a cookout, for which almost everyone invited came and came on time. I was running the taddest bit behind. Showers always seem last minute and extremely rushed for me. I had a great time at the cookout, as I hope all who attended did. I love having all of the kids here and there were so many babies here as well. Our neighbor brought one of those blow up bouncy things and the kids had a great time.



Most people left pretty early, by 8 or so and we cleaned up. Then we sat around reading Robert Munsch books and talking about children. At 1 am I excused myself and went to bed, I don't know how some people can stay up all night and function well the next day.



Monday our guests stayed until 3 pm and then in the afternoon I had my family over for a 'leftovers cookout' for which I made more beans and mac and cheese and now I have more food than I did before the 'leftovers cookout'. The babies went to bed rather early, out by 7 p.m. so Ward and I went out and cleaned our garage up, entirely. Folks, I am proud to say that our garage, for the first time in over a year, has two cars parked in it again. Those of you here for the cookouts this weekend probably wouldn't even recognize it. You would walk in and think you had entered someone elses house, except for the dogs barking at you.



We then watched a movie and wrote a review.



This morning I have moved a treadmill, but not walked on one. I have recleaned almost everything cleaned on Friday and feel that with a little bit of pressure I can get almost anything done.



The twins had a pretty good weekend, someone was holding them constantly (our friends like babies way more than my extended family does). They have been a little unhappy this morning that I can't hold them both all morning. They are napping and where as I should be folding and sorting back up laundry, I came to journalize the weekend and explain to you that I had a very busy weekend but nothing really happened.



Wow, you must be thinking, all this to tell us nothing really happened.



I know, I know.



Today I begin packing for our upcoming busy weekend.



-june

I Am A Blue Box Connoisseur

When I was little we didn't eat together much as a family, unless of course you count those Sunday night 'dinners' that turned into 'very early Monday morning dinners' because my mom wouldn't stop drinking long enough to cook the roast and mash the potatoes, and I really don't.

So my sister and I ate a lot of .19 cents a box Macaroni and Cheese which explains the malnourished look that we had for years (and has been erased forever with such Delicacies as Strawberry Milkshake Creme Oreos). I never even tasted Kraft Mac and Cheese until I met Ward and never ate 'real' Mac and Cheese until I married him and his mom started making it for us.

I now make Macaroni and Cheese, the real stuff, homemade, whatever you want to call it, several times a month, but I still, to Ward's chagrin, purchase, cook and consume good ole faithful, or as we whom love the stuff like to call it, Blue Box.

Even at .89 cents a box and made with a 'powder' they like to call 'real' cheese, this stuff is still a staple in our house. The closest Ward will come to consuming alternative Mac and Cheese is Velveeta and he will not share in a the delights of a serving of Blue Box, even if it is all I make for dinner.

But anyways, back to my point. You have to be very, very careful when making Blue Box. The simplest mistake will turn what could be a wonderful comfort meal into mush worthy only of the nearest garbage disposal.

To start with, let the water come to a boil, go ahead. It won't take long. And throw just a little, like 1/12 of a teaspoon of salt into the pot, you know you want to. Once your water is boiling, throw in those noodles that they must produce only for boxes of Kraft and store brand Mac and Cheese.

And then cook these abnormal noodles for 6:13. I am not kidding folks. You want your pasta a little al dente, but not too al dente. Your mac and cheese shouldn't have 'crunch' to it unless you add bacon bits.

Then you will want to drain your noodles, but be careful. When I was pregnant I tried to give my belly third degree burns when draining a pot of noodles. The water touched my belly and I immediately dropped the entire pot of pasta in the sink and on the floor and well my lunch was gone and I stopped cooking until the twins were about 3 weeks old and I could reach the sink again. So be careful is all I am saying.

Then put some butter in your pot before you give the noodles back to that pot. But be careful what you add to the mac and cheese. The box makes it sound so simple but it takes much care and consideration for pasta perfection. For example, you must use salted butter. I wouldn't make it with margarine or unsalted butter. And do not use the four tablespoons suggested on the traditional box, it is just excessive really to put that much butter in there, really much less, like 2.345 tablespoons is enough. And only the finest Fat Free Horizon Organic Milk touches my fine powder cheese therefore setting off a reaction that results in the cheesiest macs around. OK, not really. So then you will want to mix for 837 strokes, this many strokes is required to make sure all of that powder is adequately mixed. A biteful of that powder stuff (stuff being the closest descriptive word I can grasp to describe the powder cheese at the moment) is absolutely disgusting, truly. Now, grab a bowl. Fill it. Enjoy!

You probably never knew so much went into making a box of that stuff. I realize I am a blue box connoisseur. I have probably ingested somewhere around 491 boxes of this stuff.

-june

Casual Disregard At First Sight

I Do Not Know How We Ended Up Together
But This Is How I Remember It

So I mentioned the other day that Ward introduced me to The Smiths. But upon reading my post again I felt that I may have given the impression that when Ward and I met it was sort of love at first sight so I thought I would share the story of how me met, for those of you who may not already know.

A long time ago, in what now seems like a galaxy far far away, my sister and I threw a party. Our father was away on business, we were young and much too wild for our own good. The party lasted three days. I was 14 or 15 at the time, I don’t remember. I was pretty young and so was my sister, not even 18 and we had a party at our house that would give many parents a heart attack. It was just that bad. The first night we had high school friends come over as well as the heavy metalites from our hometown show up. It was pretty scary, actually. One of the guys kept brandishing a weapon that he later stored in my sister’s wicker hamper for safe keeping. I think he was only trying to scare us, but he succeeded. And he stayed the whole three days. We just couldn’t get the guy to leave.

I think it is important to note that we were wild and naïve but my sister and I escaped the teens years virtually unharmed (though maybe a little cynical)and we never did heavy drugs or slept around. We were raised by people who told us like it was and the unintended result was to scare the dickens out of us so we smoked nothing and slept with no one. Drinking though, drinking was another story. I am just being honest. Again, my sister pretty much escaped that one too but I didn’t. I drank more before I could drive than I have since I turned 16. But I have NEVER EVER EVER driven drunk. I have a mother who taught me a lesson about drunk driving before I was old enough to drive. When I was 13 my mother got her license for the first time in her life and six months later got a DUI and then another one while on restriction with the first. So again unintended result was a lesson about drunk driving. Thanks, Mom!

So my sister was in a band at the time. You know one of those garage bands that is really a basement band because no one in the band has a home with a garage? Anyways, she decided on the second night to invite her band mates over. They came. They didn’t really seem to mesh well with the metalites.

One of her band mates I instantly found attractive and did my best all evening to flirt with. He was older than me and had long hair, two things that I was drawn to at the time. He was wearing a t-shirt for a band I had heard of and I made a mental note to go back and listen to the album again (I just don’t like Dinosaur, Jr. even though ‘Feel the Pain’ isn’t all that bad a cut). He was, I suppose, what they called ‘grunge’ at the time. He was in a rock and roll band. I thought it was love at first sight. He had come along with a friend. I didn’t think much of his friend at the time, though he too was older and had long hair.

So I spent all evening flirting with this long haired Mascis’ fan, he was quiet and had a beautiful nose (I am ridiculous and there is no rhyme or reason for whom I find attractive, but long hair and noses are a weakness of mine, I HEART Adrien Brody). Anyways, he turned out to be one of the biggest jerks I have ever known in my life and I had the luxury of knowing him for another decade or so. The other guy was pretty rude, slightly annoying and reminded me of Gavin Rossdale of Bush, they had just put their first album out(I was the first but nowhere near the last person to make that comparison by the way). I thought he was a jerk. He thought I was a brat. We’ve been married now for almost 7 years.

A lot has happened between that first night and today but the story is perhaps a lot more long winded then I remembered when I began this post. I should probably stop there for now. The funny thing is, it was definitely NOT love at first sight for either of us. It wasn’t even casual acceptance. And he definitely didn't lend me any Smiths albums for quite some time.

When Cooper and Bailey get older they are probably going to ask how we met. I am thinking of telling them the story of Rapunzel. That just seems easier and I mean, I did have long hair back then.

-june


How I Met Your Mother.

Alright, so I was in a band, on this much we can agree. I had joined a band a few months before because the drummer and I were friends from another band, and for some reason which I can't remember they needed me for something. There was a singer in this band, a girl who never came to practices, and is now my wife's sister.

Anyway, one time, after she had finally come to practice and I had met her, she was telling the whole band that she was having a HUGE party on the upcoming weekend and that we should all come. It was going to be so awesome, their parents were gone and her and her sister were throwing a massive three day bash. Well, there wasn't anything much to do so that drummer friend of mine and I decided to go to this party. We weren't very excited, you see she lived in a place where we didn't like to go, a very backward place were the local inhabitants reminded us slightly of the Deliverance cast. I can't remember exactly, but it must have been a very dead weekend.

But we went. We got there and the place looked like Lollapalooza had just left. I think that one of the couches was still on fire. We sat on the other one. There weren't many people there, but the ones that were... Oh, the ones that were. We sat down, and I could tell that my drummer friend felt a little uneasy, so I tried to break the ice with some of my time-tested award-winning wit and charm.

So as it turns out Rednecks can't really understand sarcasm, and are completely unable to laugh at themselves. I could have been killed I suppose (I didn't know that the big maniacal metal head really had a gun), but I couldn't help but notice (and point out) the similarities between this crowd and Beavis and Butthead.

So we stayed awhile, made no new friends, and left the same way we came. Which is not sure that we should have been there. The End.

Oh, you wanted to know about how I met my wife? Well, she was the singer's little sister. I think that she was 15. I know that she was unfriendly. At the time I thought that she wanted to kill us, but I've learned since then that that's just the way she likes to look at me. She had long straight died black hair and wore a black shirt and basically fit in well with the metal-heads. She mostly paced around or sat on the arm of some smouldering furniture, trying to top my sarcastic remarks with rude comments and evil stares. You could even say that she gave me the 'stink eye' all night long. I think she had the hots for my drummer friend. Everybody else did.

I don't think that we exchanged a single kind word that evening, but as fate would have it, we ended up together for the long haul. Now that I think about it, maybe it's because no one else could stand either of us.

-Ward


June's Rebuttal

I really have no idea how we ended up together!

That band mate of your's has always been my sister, that didn't just happen.

First off, my parents were gone because my mom had abandoned us and my dad went out of town unexpectedly and it was Frbruary and we had snow and school was closed from Tueday on the rest of that week. She called you and you guys came running on short notice that Wednesday night.

That drummer friend of your was pretty hot, if only his good looks were matched with his treatment of other people, something could have evolved there, but alas, he is and has always been more pompous than you.

I didn't have my hair dyed. That was later. And if I looked at you funny it was because you were insulting an armed maniac. I was trying to tell you to shut up, I may have even saved your life.

I don't think that we exchanged kind words for quite some time.

We are together for the long haul because Ward pays me very well to be his nice and obedient wife. He docks my pay if I give him the stink eye.

Ward's Rebuttal

So it was a Wednseday night, that's why there was nothing better to do. Makes more sense to me now, but I can assure everyone that no one comes running to a party in HogTown. Unless maybe their from there.

Thanks for saving my life, but if you knew that that idiot had a gun why didn't you call someone? Like maybe 911.

"Hello 911, what's your emergency?"

"Beavis is in my house, and he's got a gun!"

I'm sure they would have sent someone to investigate. I've seen those movies about teen parties.

And, your sister was not my wife's sister until I married you. And as everyone can tell, we still don't say kind words to each other. We try not to even use them around each other. By the way, you've violated our non-disclosure agreement so you owe me everything I've ever paid you.

-The Cleavers

I Would Like to Go With Duckie

I am going to the Prom, again…Well sort of.

I haven’t been to Bunko in a couple of months. It is hard to get away in the evening, I feel bad leaving Ward with the twins and last month Cooper was sick that evening. I am, however going to try and go this month. Even though they are threatening to move it to the day before my little brother’s high school graduation (and thus company coming) and two days before we go out of town for a five day trip to Hershey Park, Gettysburg and DC with Ward’s family. Yesterday, the Bunko leader, she sent out an email telling us what the theme is.

I know you guys are as anxious as I was.

This month’s theme is The Prom.

We are to wear our own high school Prom dresses. I immediately sent an email back to the group telling them they were crazy. Not only am I sure I wouldn’t fit into my old prom dress I don’t even own the silly thing anymore. I got an email back from one of the girls saying, ‘Of course you don’t fit into your prom dress, you just had twins three months ago.’ Where that was very sweet of her, I wouldn’t have fit into my prom dress ten months ago or twenty months ago. I was a lot smaller in high school and when I got married. I am not so small now. I have lost all the pregnancy weight and a few pounds and I still wouldn’t fit into that size 4 dress. That’s why I burned the damn thing. Who needs that hanging over them in their closet? And besides, I graduated. I didn’t think I would need the thing anymore. And to boot, I never even liked my prom dresses. That’s right folks, I went to both my junior and senior prom. No, I wasn’t cool, I was a sucker and I went with my best girlfriend my junior year. Senior year, well I actually suckered Ward into going with me. Ha Ha!

So what am I going to wear? I have thought about it, and I was wondering does anyone know where I can buy Andie Walsh’s prom dress.





I am serious. Really. Truly. I am. Send me a link. If it isn’t too expensive (and really why should it be?) I am wearing that to Bunko.

-june

What's In a Name?

I have been busy today combating laundry. I thought that I might win when during dinner our son, who hasn’t passed a “void” diaper in days, adorned his swing with such delights not fit to mention here. So giving up the battle for another day (I put THAT load in before ending the battle) I decided to post.

Now that it has been almost four months since that troubling and traumatic delivery of mine I have decided to unveil the twin’s names. Not that you all care, just that it will make posting about them so much easier on me.

Are you ready?

Trauma, so named for the traumatic events leading up to his birth, is really named Cooper Alexander Montgomery, that’s right folks, we gave them two middle names in the same fashion as my little brother. He isn’t named after any family members. He isn’t named after the eldest Manning. He isn’t named after anyone on the Simpson’s. He was almost named Indiana Jones, but I won the coin toss, so he wasn’t.

Trouble, so named for the troubling events leading up to her birth, is really named Bailey Elizabeth Avery, that’s right folks, she couldn’t be given only one middle name when her brother had two. She is named after my sister’s dog. No, she really isn’t. Her middle name is the same as my paternal grandmother’s but other than that we just wanted to test how long a name one could fit on a social security card. Her whole name fits because our last name isn’t very long. Coop’s second middle is Montgo on his card.

Ah, now isn’t that a load off.

-If you can guess my name, I will take you for a ride in my hover car, but you only get three guesses and if you are wrong, I get your first born.

So guess carefully.