Everyone keeps telling us how cute our kids are. Sure, every new parent gets that, but people are acting quite surprised. “How did YOU TWO make such cute kids?” or “Wow, are you sure that these are your offspring?” Yes! (I think so, there may have been a mix up at the lab though) Did you expect horns and a tail or something?
Did you people have a secret betting pool or something? Whoever’s sketch is closest to the demon-spawn wins!
I know that I’m no Brad Pitt, but my wife is pretty cute, and still I was prepared for funny looking babies. I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t think that all babies are cute, and the first to admit that the boy looks like a monkey (more so a few weeks ago, and we’re hopeful that he grows out of it, but a little like a baby primate, yes). So I’m not even saying that we have CUTE kids, I’m just saying it stings a little when people say: “Are you sure that you’re the real parents?” Yes, I witnessed that myself (the boy looked like a slimy little lizard-monkey, and the girl just like the X-Files aliens).
So, if you’re so surprised that our children aren’t adorned with scales and claws, keep it to yourself. I mean feelings are at stake here (and everyone knows how I feel that feelings should be protected at all costs).
-Ward
P.S.- I’d like to see some of those sketches if you guys still have ‘em laying around.
P.P.S- Who won the pool anyway?
2 comments:
I always get-"are they ALL yours?", followed by "bless your heart" or "finally got a girl, huh?".
It gets old, I can't ever think of anything witty to reply, mostly because I am not usually looking to strike up a conversation at the grocery store, and B. I am too busy chasing ALL of my BOYS to be clever.
Try this:
"All mine? This bunch of houligans just started following me in the parking lot! Can you help?"
or:
"No this isn't all of them, the other nine are at baseball practice."
-Ward
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