So in case you haven't been paying close enough attention lately, I've got some news updates for you.
1) Today is "No Pants Wednesday". That's right, take 'em off. This is the best news you're going to get on my list today.
2) "It's about time we got a HOT V.P." - that is a quote from a fox news reporter. I heard it on the radio yesterday morning on the way to work, and I've decided that I'm officially bored with this election. Does anybody know where Ralph Nader went?
3) "It is a myth that lack of exercise makes you fat." I stumbled upon this new diet while checking my email. Evidently the most important thing you can do to lose weight is time your meals properly. It doesn't matter what you eat, or if you even move at all.
4) Mickey Rourke is finally making his leading man comeback as Randy "the ram" Robinson in "The Wrestler"
Well, that's all I have for you today. Stay tuned for more urgent updates as they come in, and take your pants off!