Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Child of the 80's

Friday we needed bread and milk so we headed out with the intention of going to Target and then Kroger (our local overpriced grocer) but somehow we ended up in the Wal-mart parking lot instead.

I am not really sure how.

We meandered through the electronic section and stumbled across a rack of $5 DVDs. We chose about 20 and decided we really needed to get out of Wal-mart. One of our selections was 'Thelma and Louise", neither of us have ever seen it. I hope it is really good because...

It was $7.50. Darn Wal-mart. And we had to jump through some pretty crazy hoops to even purchase it. I am emptying the cart on the conveyor belt when the lady asks me for I.D.

For what? I say, thinking I didn't get any alcohol or tasteless publications (does Wal-mart even sell tasteless publications?).

The cashier hoping I will check the 'YES, my cashier was friendly today' just holds up the Thelma and Louise DVD.

How old do you have to be? I ask the cashier who is still holding the DVD up, like I should be ashamed of my choice.

17. 17? I have two twins who look older than their 8 months and I am buying a Bundt pan, could she really think I am under 17 I ask myself. I sigh, getting more and more annoyed wondering if she really wants my I.D. for this silly reason.

She does. She stands still holding the DVD. I rummage through my purse and find my I.D. and hand it to her.

Oh, I am going to have to think about this, she says.

This is when my mean spirited self really shows itself as I notice that her screen says 'Born after 9/26/91?'

I can promise you I wasn't born in the 90s, Mam. I think that people hate to be called that because she didn't look pleased with me but by this point I am getting nasty stares from the customers behind me who are proabably convinced that I am holding the line up for some tasteless film in Jerry's town. Is Brad Pitt nude in this film, I wonder to myself, after all of this he had better be.

She finally has to enter in my birthdate. I know that these age requirements are set up for a good reason but I can't help myself. We have been here now for what seems like a long time. I don't think of myself as very young looking, maybe I should take this as a compliment. I know people hate to be carded for alcohol, that doesn't bother me. Carding for alcohol is a good idea. Carding the lady buying $200 in groceries with her family in tow, that just seems a little silly to me. Is there some R-rated movie problem going on that I am not familiar with? I have never even been carded at the theatre for an R-rated movie.

So finally it was determined that I was indeed old enough to purchase Thelma and Louise.


Hoolie said...

You must be short. Once when I was 18, I had a waitress bring me a kids' menu. I asked her how old she thought I was, and she said, 'uh, 12 or so'. I haven't had this problem since I got pregnant with Jameson and gained some 50 lbs.

wesley's mom said...

I don't think your height has anything to do with it. Around them thar parts wherin ya'll live there I betcha they get plenty young mamas into the Wal-mart all the time. Though I doubt very seriously they are buying bundt pans.

Does she have to think about it because she-the cashier who takes MONEY-can't do the math?

Ward and June said...

I am short, only 5' 2 maybe a little taller.

Yeah, I guess I might not have made that clear, she had to do math to figure out if I was old enough, except she couldn't do the math so she just entered it in and let the computer tell her.

It was the bangs, I'm just sure of it.

Chris and Erin said...

I got carded buying a videogame at Best Buy a couple of months ago. I don't know if it was the wedding band, the tattoos, or the increasing gray hairs that made me look like an up-to-no-good teenager, but I was flattered nonetheless.

James said...

I would have carded you, too. I wouldn't put it past some no good teenager to go out and get pregnant with twins, buy $200 worth of groceries, and even throw in a bundt pan for good measure all so they could get their hands on some filth like Thelma & Louise. Teens can be pretty motivated when it comes to scoring ilicit material like this.

But, in her defense, I'm sure Wal-Mart does nothing but hammer into her head that she must card everyone that buys Thelma & Louise lest she be written up or be docked 2 points on her next review, greatly reducing her chance of getting her annual 25 cent Sam Walton raise.

Ward and June said...

R - Strong Language and Some Violence

That is why Thelma & Louise is Rated R. In my opinion anyone who has pushed a living person through the birth canal should be able to handle this movie.
I was in the delivery room when my wife gave birth, and trust me she's no stranger to Strong Language and Some Violence.