Why does butter have to be so bad for you?

I am doing, at least for me, rather well staying active this winter. Last night, for example, I went to a Zumba class at 7:30 and followed that by attempting to run a few quick miles through Wyndhurst, a local shopping and dining community that houses both Romp 'N Roll and the dance studio where the Zumba class is taught. I figured it would be safe enough to run there by myself at 8:30 p.m. on a Tuesday. But alas, I am a big fat scaredy cat and with recent news of a shooter in Appomattox, a short distance away, my nerves were a little rickety. Long story short, at one mile when a man approached me to ask where some local bar was, I called it quits. I then came home to ride 12.5 miles on the recumbent bike, all in all it was a good training day.

However on the other side I have let my eating get way out of hand. A few weeks ago I reached a total of 60 lbs lost since having Sean. I was thrilled but I began worrying that I might be losing too much weight. I still have a little stomach pouch but other than that I have thinned out considerably since having Sean. Something I attribute mostly to breastfeeding, diet coke over Cherry Coke and running. But I was worried that at my current weight loss, which has steadily been a pound a week now for three months I was going to get too thin. So what did I do? I let the reigns down and have been gobbling up everything in sight. Luckily I have only gained two pounds and that is even with devouring entire Banana cakes by myself.

But thinking about my food consumption for one day has me a little nervous that if I don't restrain myself I will be looking at a weight gain of more than 60 lbs in the not to distant future. Yesterday for example I ate four slices of banana bread for breakfast, three slices of pan pizza from Pizza Hut with two breaksticks, followed by a snack of more banana bread (I actually defrosted some of the frozen, that cake is irresistible), a small bag of M&M's, and some Cinnamon Goldfish. For dinner I had cornbread (that I will post about later) and black bean soup. I tried to not eat anything late last night but I just couldn't help it and ate more Cinnamon goldfish right before going to bed which I know is a serious faux pas.

So help me folks, I was doing so well last fall and I think it was because I had so much weight to lose. Now that I've reached my goal weight I am having a hard time setting and sticking to healthy eating perimeters. I know it's all ok now but I know how much I like food and am honestly worried that I won't be able to stop myself before returning to my old ways.

I was eating BLT's everyday, now I eat pizza. I was making quick breads with appleasauce and egg beaters, my banana cake had shortening (OH MY!) and sour cream. I was snacking on the likes of apples and chex mix. Now it's been brownies and more brownies. I am hoping that the realization yesterday of how bad my eating has become will allow me to regain control.

Several people have hinted to me that I could stand to gain a few pounds which is why I went crazy through Christmas and the New Year but I know that overall I have to be eating healthy and that is just what I've not been doing the last five weeks. So here is to saying NO to second helpings of Macaroni and Cheese and yes to more mixed vegetables.

I'm even working on a new mantra, wanna hear it?

Be strong and brave, Alexis. It's only food.